


I Think Daddy Loves You

by CarrieLovesNewt



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Parents, Awkwardness, Babies, Depressed Newt, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Newt is a dad, Newt is confused, Suicide Attempt, Thomas loves kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3277583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarrieLovesNewt/pseuds/CarrieLovesNewt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their relationship had been perfect. Thomas had never felt happier. So when Newt decides to walk out one night, without saying so much as a word, Thomas is left heartbroken. Four years pass by, and he’s still unable to forget him. It’s only then that Newt returns to the lives of his old friends, with a little someone by his side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So basically, the whole idea was that Newt leaves and comes back with a baby (due to a one night stand he had with a woman whilst he was away) and when he comes back, he's reunited with his 'ex-lover' Thomas (though technically speaking, they never broke up).
> 
> But yeah, the idea is that Thomas is going to become like a 'second father' to Newt's daughter/son (haven't decided yet)
> 
> I'm hoping to make this fic at least a little exciting, but you know, we'll see. Comments and feedback is appreciated x
> 
> WARNING, THIS FIC IS GOING TO BE REALLY FUCKING LONG

Newt sat at his computer desktop, his document curser blinking exasperatingly upon the blank page. As he took a melancholy sip from his glass of wine, he felt his head begin to spin. It was days like these that he wished he could disappear.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A soft voice called from the sofa just beside his desk. Newt turned his head and gave a loving smile. Thomas. “Working too hard again?”

“Hah, hardly.” Newt sneered, turning back to his black document. “This whole thing’s kind of got me running on the edge.”

Thomas threw himself from the cushions and stood behind his lover’s desk chair, wrapping his arms around the smaller blond and holding him in a warm embracing bear hug. The brunette placed a gentle kiss upon the back of Newt’s neck, causing the boy to smile and turn his chair, catching his lips in an earnest kiss of compassion. It was moments like these that made Newt stay. It was moments like these that kept him dangling from a string. Every time he felt like falling, he always had Thomas to catch him.

But maybe, for once, Newt didn’t want to be caught.

As Thomas drew away, he stole a sip from the younger’s cup, causing him to throw his head back with a chuckle. “Hey, get your own buggin’ coffee.”

“Tastes best when you make it.” Thomas pouted, interlacing his fingers with Newt’s. “Hey, so Min’ and I are going out for a couple of drinks. You coming or what?”

Newt glanced around their one-room apartment, as though searching for an excuse not to go. “Nah, I…I think I’ll pass.” The brunette frowned.

“Something bothering you?” Thomas had asked, kneeling so he could look his love in the eye. “You know…you can tell me anything, Newt. I’m here for you, no matter what. If there’s something on you’re mind…” There was so much Newt could have said.

I love you. I’m scared. I hate living here. I lost my job. I crashed the car. My life’s going to hell. I’ve fucked up everything. I tried to kill myself. I don’t want to live anymore. I’m sorry.

Instead, he settled for a believable smile, giving Thomas a light kiss upon the cheek. “I’m fine.”

Thomas chuckled, fiddling with a strand of the blonde’s slightly damp hair. “Call me if you need anything, okay?” He nodded, and watched remorsefully as his boyfriend stood and left his side. He wanted to scream for him to stay, at least for a moment longer, so that he could cherish these few perfect moments. But unable to do so, he allowed Thomas to grab his keys and phone from the tray beside the door, turn his head and walk right out the door, closing it softly behind him, knowing that Newt hated it when he slammed the door.

Thomas was perfect, and he knew he didn’t deserve him.

“I love you, Tommy.” He whispered, closing his eyes and pulling at the sleeves of his shirt, hiding the cuts and bruises running down his porcelain skin. He’d managed to hide them from him for the past week, but it wouldn’t take Thomas too long to notice. “I love you.” He repeated, hoping if he said it enough times, it’d sink into his skin and replace the scars he’d given himself.

He felt weightless, as he stood, minding not to stumble over his own feet. With nothing else to lose, he ran his fingertips over the ring Thomas had given him for his last birthday, and placed it in front of his computer.

With that, he followed the way he’d walked, down the hall, leaving his keys in the tray, and standing by the face of the door. He took a single glance over his apartment and took a deep breath. “So long.”

And just like that, he was gone.

…

“Ah, piss off, shank.” Thomas huffed, taking a generous swig from his bottle of beer. He hardly ever got the chance to have a good drink these days, what with work and running and sports and…Newt. Sometimes, he just liked to get away from all of that. He loved his blond from the bottom of his heart, but occasionally, he needed time to just get along with his old mates.

“I’m serious, Thomas.” Alby chuckled. “You guys have been dating for what, years now, right?”

“Two years, four months, one week and five days to be precise.” Thomas corrected with a giddy laugh.

“Come on man, you guys should just get married already. Your sappiness makes me wanna shucking barf.” Minho said, calling over another set of drinks.

“Ah, I…don’t think Newt’s ready for that yet.” Thomas said honestly. “He’s just kind of scared of commitment.”

“So, it’s basically the same as dating a girl, what with all that emotional bullshit.” Winston called from the edge of the bar, and the guys laughed. Thomas was the only one in their little hangout that was actually in a long-term relationship, which usually leads to weird conversations about him being completely and utterly sex-deprived.

“A week without sex isn’t that long, guys.” Thomas said with a slight eye roll.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Minho said with a mocking smirk. “Dude…why?”

“Um…well, Newt gets a little moody sometimes.” Thomas said, knowing he’d feel guilty about it later.

“Like I said, it’s basically the same as dating a girl.” Winston repeated.

Alby chuckled, giving Thomas a light pat on the shoulder. “Well, as long as you two shanks are happy, I’m good with whatever.”

“To the single life, gentlemen!” Minho raised his glass and the entire bar joined with a rowdy cheer, causing Thomas to burst into laughter.

It was then Alby’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He dug awkwardly into the front of his jeans and answered the incoming call. “Ah, speak of the devil. Hey, Newt. We were just talking about you.” He gave Thomas a subtle slap on the forearm, and the brunette simply shrugged his shoulders, taking another gulp from his beer.

“Hey…Alby,” Newt’s voice rang through so quietly, Alby had to strain to hear his voice. “I…I…”

“Hey, you alright?” Alby asked, his voice snapping from facetious to puzzled. Thomas raised his brow.

“I…I don’t…”

“Thomas is here, you wanna talk to--”

“No!” He snapped, causing him to jump in surprise. He could sense the pain in his friend’s voice as he tried to speak on. “I…I’m an idiot, a shucking idiot…”

“You…Newt?”

“Tell Tommy I love ‘im, and I’m sorry.”

The line went dead, and Alby felt his entire body tense. Thomas stared at him expectantly. “What’s happening, what’s going on?” He asked.

“Boyfriend troubles, aye shank?” Minho bellowed, and the group let a round of chuckles pass through.

“…It’s Newt.” Alby said, his tone strong and plain. “Thomas…I think you should...”

That was all it took for the brunette to jump to his feet, leaving the bar with panic raking through his skull. His apartment was only a few blocks down. He’d have to run for it.

“God, what have you done?”

…

“Heading anywhere specific?” The girl at the bus stop had asked curiously. Newt shrugged his shoulders, his phone buzzing away in his inside pocket. Shame sprang through his system, and the thought of Thomas coming home to nothing but an empty apartment made his heart concave. “You gonna’ get that?” She chuckled. 

“Nah, be no point in it.” He stated, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

“You like a runaway or something?” She asked. Newt shrugged. “Most people who don’t answer their phones and stand at the bus stop for hours waiting for the next one are usually people trying to run from life. I know that’s what I’m doing anyways.”

“No kidding.” Newt stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I’m Newt.”

“They call me Jackie.” She said with a flirtatious smile. “Hey, if you ain’t got no place to stay, I got a room about five miles down the road. I’m flying out tomorrow. If you’re not doing anything, maybe you’d wanna’ go have a little fun with me? It’s what street rats were born for anyways.”

Newt hadn’t wanted to say yes, but he’d figured if he were going to die anyway, why not enjoy it at least a little bit. “I don’t want anything serious.”

“Hah, sounds like my kind of deal.”

…

Thomas felt his heart stop. He couldn't breathe for several minutes. He felt himself shake beneath his skin. If it weren't for him clutching the bedside with his right hand, he would have fallen to his knees. “He's…gone…” He let out an intruding scream that sent shivers down his own spine. Falling back against the bed, he held the ring to his chest close to his heart, his hand over his mouth to stop him from crying out again. He took short, urgent breaths, feeling as though he were having a panic attack. “Newt…you…” He wasn't sure when he started crying, or when Minho and Alby appeared by his sides, but either way, he couldn’t stop, and his friends could do nothing but watch with bitter agony.


	2. Chapter 2

Four years, three months, one week and six days later…

“Alright shank, you and I are gonna’ get us some chicks. I refuse to let you leave this bar without scoring yourself something.” Minho forced Thomas to down yet another shot, the brunette letting out a strangled splutter as he did so, pounding his fist against his chest as the liquid burnt his throat.

“I hate you so much.” He laughed huskily, and Minho simply nudged him on the shoulder.

“Aw, you’re too sweet.” He slurred, sarcasm evident in his voice. “Hey, so I’m either extensively jolly right now or extensively drunk...or both, but either way, you’re coming with me to go hit on those those two ladies at the back of the bar. Refuse so, and I was shucking whoop your ass to the next century.”

“I think I’m just gonna’ sit here and watch you fail at life.” Thomas said with a side-smirk.

“Dude, you’re not bailing on me again! I will slap you; don’t think I won’t, because I will. It’s been like, five months since you last god laid. Five fuckless months! Get the shuck up, and go talk to them!” Minho commanded.

Thomas turned his eyes to the floor, staring down at the familiar silver ring that hung upon a chain around his neck. Ever since Newt left, he’d wanted to keep it close to his heart for as long as he could. He’d never taken it off, not even in the shower. It was just a simple reminder of the love he’d once had. His fingertips subconsciously began to fiddle with the tiny jewel, running his thumb down the etched words upon the surface. Reading the engraving round the brim of the piece made his heart stop.

‘For Newt, the love of my life’

“…It’s been four years, Thomas.” Minho said, his voice turning cold. “He ain’t coming back, and you know it.”

“Hah…like I give a shit whether he comes back or not.” Thomas found himself unable to look him in the eye, holding the ring to his lips for a minute.

“I know you loved him…Thomas, I get that…but you need to wake up. You can’t live like this.” He placed an affectionate hand upon his shoulder. He hated seeing him like this; so desperate for a life he could no longer live. “For all we know…he could be--”

“Don’t say it.” Thomas hissed sourly, pushing himself from the bar stool, his voice only just managing to keep its strength as his heart sank. “I…I’m gonna’ go get some air.” Minho watched in pure dismay, as his best friend stumbled out towards the front door. He was too sober for this shit. All he wanted was for Thomas to move on for good. He just wanted him to be happy.

“Waiter, can I get another drink, please?” Minho called, and she gave him a friendly wink, as she went to get him his usual. He offhandedly whipped his phone from his pocket and dialed Frypan’s number. It rang for a couple beats, before a familiar ebullient voice echoed down the line.

“Hello?”

“Hey Fry, it’s me.” Minho stated, mouthing the words thank you to the server as she placed his drink upon the bar top in front of him.

“Oh, hey. How’s it going with you and Thomas?”

“Well, pretty shit to be honest. Didn’t work out.” He shrugged, and heard Frypan begin a long laborious sigh. “Love is weird, ain’t it?”

“Yeah, for sure. Damn, guess there’s nothing else for us to do but…wait for something good to happen.”

“Aye, guess so.” He jugged down the rest of his drink at an extraordinarily fast rate, and cleared his throat as he placed the cup back down upon the bar.

“Well, good that.”

“Aye…good that.”

…

“Oh my god, okay, you know what, just leave the microwave alone, and I’ll fix it when I get to your apartment.” Alby insisted, as Teresa jabbered on down the phone line. He stood in the middle of the supermarket aisle, running his fingers through his hair as he placed his basket to the ground, grabbing a box of his usual cereal from the shelf. “Yeah, no, Teresa, just stay calm and I promise I’ll sort it out for you when I shucking get there, okay? What? No, it’s not going to explode! You’ll be fine, okay?”

It was then he felt something small and light grab at his leg, and in a stupor he turned his eyes down towards the floor. A little boy of maybe three or four years stood by his feet, hugging his arms playfully around his left leg. “Hello!” He giggled, still tugging on the material of his jeans.

“Uh, hey there. Um, Teresa, I’ma have to call you back.” Alby locked his phone and placed it in his pocket, turning his full attention to the little guy strapped to his foot. “Hey, what you doing down there, kid?”

The boy looked up at him with a beaming set of somewhat familiar brown eyes that Alby could have sworn he’d seen before. “Boo!”

He chucked beneath his breath. “Damn, you’re pretty cute, ain’t you?” Alby pried the boy’s hands from his leg and carefully scooped him up into his arms. “Where your parents at, kiddo?” The blond-haired boy gave a smile and pulled at the material of Alby’s jacket with a high-pitched giggle.

It was then the little one turned his head down the aisle and clapped his hands in an exultant fashion. “Daddy!” Alby placed the boy to the ground, so he could run towards a young man at the far side of the aisle, giving him a similar hug around the leg that he’d given him.

“Eddy, what ya’ think you’re doin’, running of like that! You almost gave me a buggin’ heart attack!” The man ruffled the little boy’s hair, and Alby was almost certain he’d seen this guy before.

“Sorry, daddy.” The boy smiled mischievously, taking the young man’s hand and holding onto his index finger.

“You bloody well should be, ya’ lil’ trouble maker.” The man turned to look at Alby with an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry if this guy caused you any trouble.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it.” He smiled down at the little boy, still trying to figure out where he’d seen this man before. “How old is he?”

“Three years, going onto four, ain’t that right, Ed?” The boy nodded his head enthusiastically, pulling at the young man’s shirtsleeve. “This shank’s got it out to kill me, I’ll tell you that.”

Alby frowned, creasing his brow. “Shank…wait a minute…Newt?”

The blond-haired man froze, turning his eyes up to stare at Alby in tremor. “Alby? Oh my god, I…I can’t believe it’s you!”

Alby’s eyes widened as he choked up a howl of laughter. “Jesus Christ.” He spontaneously pulled Newt towards his chest and swept his long-lost best friend into a tight hug, grinning into the younger’s shoulder.

Newt hugged him back with a sigh of relief. “God, this is amazing.”

“It’s so good ta’ see you, it’s been too shucking long!” Alby exclaimed, as he eventually released Newt from his embrace. “I-um, oh god, um, hi!”

Newt hid his chuckle behind his hand. “You alright, Alby?”

“Hah, yeah.” Alby scratched the back of his head. “You, um, you look good.”

“Thanks. Pretty alright yourself.”

“What have you been doing anyways? Not seen you for four shucking years! Never thought I’d ever see you again, to be honest. Where you been staying? Tried calling you dozens of times, but knowing you you’d never answer your klunk-ass phone.” Newt chuckled, to which Alby then noticed he’d started to babble and decided to cool down just a little with an exasperated sigh. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just great to see you.”

“Right back at ya’.” Newt smiled. It was then the little boy began pulling on the blonde’s trouser leg, murmuring something not exactly coherent.

Alby looked Newt in the eye for a moment, before turning his attention to the boy. “That, uh, that kid…he’s not…”

“Guess there’s no need for introductions.” Newt tittered nervously. “Eddy, this is Alby. He’s a good friend of mine. Say hello, Eddy.”

“Hello!” He grinned widely, catching Alby in a daze.

“Alby…this is my son, Edison.”

“You’re…” Alby was practically stunned into silence. “You’re a shucking dad?!”

“Um…yeah.” Newt said beneath his breath, somewhat unable to keep his eyes on Alby. “It’s…a long story.”

“Wha-I-uh…” Alby caught himself stuttering and cleared his throat. “I mean, that’s-that’s great, just great! How’d it even happen? Who’s the mother? You guys married? How long’s it been going on for?”

“No, I’m not married.” Newt reassured, keeping his voice low so his son wouldn’t hear. “It happened…the night I left. Eddy doesn’t know who his mother is. We don’t really talk about her.”

“So…it was a one-night thing?” He asked. Newt simply nodded, staring down at his shoes, somewhat ashamed of himself. “That’s real unlike you, Newt. I mean…your kid’s amazing, but, I mean, don’t you think he should be with his mom?”

“I wanted her to take him, I told her I couldn’t take care of a buggin’ kid, I can barely take care of myself!” He shook his head. “’Course, she wasn’t having any of it. She said take the kid or I’ll put it in a home. I wasn’t gonna’ let that woman take ‘im away…so here we are.”

“Daddy, I’m hungry.” Eddy murmured from where he stood beside the shelves.

“Gonna’ have to wait ‘til we get home, Eddy.” Newt said with a frown, checking his shirt pocket. Shit. Of course he’d lost his wallet. Fucking great. “Hey, I should probably go--”

“Nah, come on man, you can’t just leave!” Alby said with a bright smile. “Okay, tell you what, I was just on my way over to Teresa’s. How’s about you come with me, and we can all fix up this kiddo something to eat? Heck, I’ll call all the guys over to Teresa’s place! It’ll be a nice surprise.”

Newt frowned, but unwillingly let it subside, replacing it with an artificial smile. “Sounds like fun. Not sure they’ll all want to see me, but--”

“Ah, don’t be a shucking klunk-head, ‘course they wanna’ see you!” Alby laughed, giving the younger man a pat on the back. “You and I are having lunch together, whether you like it or not.”

…

“So…Edison…like, Thomas?” Alby had asked softly.

Before Newt had the chance to reply, the front door to the living room was swung open with a theatrical sigh from a familiar dark-haired Asian.

“Okay, ya’ shucking shuck-faced shuck,” Minho uttered sulkily as he waltzed into Teresa’s front room. “What was it exactly that was ‘so fucking important’ that I had to miss running practice for--”

“Shut your trap, Min’.” Winston called with a chuckle. “Look who’s here.”

It was only then that Minho noticed the soundless blond standing in the far corner of the room, hands shoved in his pockets and an anxious smile upon his lips. “Hey, Minho.”

“You’re shucking kidding me.” Minho broke into a ginormous grin that plastered itself across his face. “Come here, you shucking son of a bitch!” The group laughed as he grabbed Newt and pulled him into a death-gripping hug.

“Okay…okay…need…air!” Newt laughed, letting Minho squeeze the life out of him. When he eventually released him, he slung his arm over his shoulder and tussled his hair with his free hand, causing Newt to grimace. “God, you’re a shucking piece of klunk, you are.”

Newt laughed and straightened himself up. “Good to see you too, Minho.”

“Told you it was important.” Alby said with a chortle.

“You’re late as well.” Ben shook his head in disapproval, walking over to Newt and giving him an affable pat on the shoulder. “Been waiting for ages. Practically cried at the sight of them, he did.” Ben pointed towards Frypan.

“Hey, it’s been a real emotional day for me, don’t judge!” He frowned, his fellow companions taking humor in his reaction.

Minho made motion to move towards the others, only to find his foot restrained by something. He looked down to see Eddy hugging at his jogging trainers, fiddling with his laces and tying giant knots in the lose string. “Who the shuck’s this adorable little piece of klunk?”

“That’s Eddy.” Teresa chimed. “Isn’t he charming?”

“What’s an Eddy doing in your shucking house?” Minho cocked an eyebrow, and the group chuckled.

“He’s my son.” Newt explained. Minho’s jaw fell. “Um, his mother’s left, so I got to take him. He’s…the only thing I’ve had for quite some time.”

“Who are you, and what the shuck did you do to Newton?” Minho exclaimed and Newt rolled his eyes fondly. “Damn…well that escalated quickly.”

“Eddy, this one’s Minho. He’s the buggin’ shank I was talking about.” Newt talked down to his son, who simply nodded and stuck his tongue out at the dark-haired man.

“Ah, I see, so you’re raising an army against me, got it.” Minho looked the little guy up and down, shaking him off his leg with a smirk. “Looks just like you.”

“I know right!” Jeff smirked. “Gonna’ be a handsome young lad some day, ain’t that right, Ed?” The little boy nodded, and Newt couldn’t help but smile. Ever since the little guy was born, the only person he’d ever had to catch him was Eddy, and so far, he’d done a pretty fine job of it.

“So, what have I missed?” Newt had asked, the group bursting into laughter.

They were all so meticulously engaged in conversation with their friend from another time, they’d not noticed a stun-struck brunette, standing frozen stiff by the opening of the wide set door, his eyes fixed woefully on the long lost love of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, god, I'm really uncertain about this chapter. I couldn't quite write it out exactly how I wanted it, which really pissed me off to be honest. I apologise if this turned out really shit, but I promise you, I did try. I'll work to make the rest of the chapters better, since I know this one drags on a little, and it's really rough and all that, but, nevertheless, I hope you enjoy :D 
> 
> (THANK YOU!!!)

Thomas felt his heart stop. His blood stilled through his veins at the very sight of him. It couldn’t be. He felt as though he were hallucinating, one side of his mind wanting to scream, the other wanting to cry. He’d dreamt of the day his love would come back so many times, and now that it’d happened, he wanted it all to end.

Newt. He had some nerve to come back here with a smile on his face, as though everything was okay, as though he’d been here all along and as though nothing had changed. What kind of person did that? Thomas wanted to feel angry. He wanted to be able to say that he hated Newt for what he did to him. He wanted to be able to end it all, tell him to get lost because he didn’t need him in his life, not anymore.

But it’d be a lie to do so, because no matter how hard he tried to forget, Thomas still loved him.

And because of that, he was unable to say so much as a word. They just all seemed so happy, smiling and laughing as they’d once done, like Newt had truly never left, and that his old life had merely resumed. Well, it hadn’t. Thomas turned, still unseen by the rest of the group, and with his heart sinking from his chest, he left the way he came, too afraid to face him again, and too afraid to lose him again.

He left the house with such haste; he’d not noticed the little kid watching him as he stumbled.

With a sigh of strain, Thomas closed the front door behind him, minding not to slam it, knowing how much Newt hated it. It’d been so quiet, no one had even noticed it’d been opened in the first place.

…

“It was an accident, actually.” Newt had admitted, allowing Eddy to sit upon his left knee, chewing on a slice of bread and leaning his head against his father’s chest. “We were on our way to my parent’s house, and kind of fell asleep on the train. Woke up at the end of the line.”

“Good going, slint-head.” Minho mocked, causing Newt to huff and shake his head at the man.

“Well, we should be thankful for his disorganization skills.” Alby took a seat next to Newt upon the sofa, handing him a can of soda. “If this shank hadn’t been so stupid as to ride the train down to the North side of the city, probably wouldn’t have ever seen ‘im again.”

“So, how ‘bout it, Newt?” came Frypan’s voice from behind, as he made his way in from the kitchen. “Thinking about sticking around for a lil’ while?”

“Maybe. I guess I could find myself a job here if I really wanted to.” Newt lowered his head, a tragic glint in his eye. There was something that seemed to be bothering him at the back of his mind, unwilling to let itself be spoken. “But--”

“But nothing, you’re staying even if I have to shucking chain you down to this very floor, got it shank?” Minho crossed his arms over his chest, and the others began to laugh.

“Where’s Thomas?” Newt questioned, his voice as solid as stone. The entire room tumbled into a deafening silence, as the sudden realization that they’d completely forgotten about Thomas fell upon them.

“I…uh, well I sent him a message, but…” Alby checked his phone. “He doesn’t know you’re here.”

Newt paused, tapping his fingertips uneasily against his can of soda. “…How has he been?” He asked, his voice low and tinted with a tenderness that was so unfamiliar to him.

“He’s been a little less than okay is all I can say.” Alby stole a sip from his can.

“He’s still the same Tom,” Teresa said with a frown, “just, without you he’s been a bit…”

“Lonely.” Minho finished off. “Could be worse though. I mean, we all thought he was gonna’ shucking kill himself after he found out.” The words had left Minho’s lips before he could stop himself, and Newt brought his hand to his mouth, his eyes turning down in desolation. “Ah, I didn’t mean it like that--”

“It’s okay…I get it.” Newt cut him off, closing his eyes and taking a moment to clear his head, before turning up to meet Minho’s watch. “It was a stupid thing to do…I know, I shouldn’t have just…left…but at the time, it just felt so right.”

“We thought you were dead for quite a while, you know.” Winston informed, shifting upon the fur rug beneath him, since everyone had taken all the extra space on the sofa. “The idea practically tore Thomas to shreds.”

“Well…you’re here now, and that’s all that matters.” Alby gave Newt a reassuring nod. Newt found himself unable to look up from his can, his mind wondering to a somewhat darker place, and it was at that moment that he wished he still had his Thomas to comfort him. Thomas. If only things had turned out just a little differently.

…

Thomas rummaged senselessly through the box of old belongings. He was completely losing his shit. This was all too much.

He’d not touched these things in years. He’d been too afraid that it’d drive him insane. Staring down at one of Newt’s old photographs, a smile pulled at the corner of his lip. Nothing had changed. His eyes were still as dark as they’d once been. His skin was still so pale. His hair was still as flawless as the rays of the golden sun itself. He still appeared as fragile as he had done the day he left. Needless to say, Thomas felt like he was falling back in time, maybe even falling deeper into the never-ending pain that was love.

Four years. That’s a long time. It’s long enough for someone to lose love, but it’s also long enough to reflect on it. Now that Thomas had reflected on it, time and time and time again, he couldn’t let it escape his grasp.

His mind had wandered so far from reality, he’d only been brought back when a voice sounded across the motionless room, a voice that he’d dreamt of every night for four long years.

“This place is still a buggin’ mess.”

Thomas turned his head, practically jumping out of his own skin at the sight of the young blond standing behind him, his arms crossed over his chest, as though the room were at sub-zero temperatures. Thomas stood straight, placing the picture upon the table beside him, minding not to stumble, even though his head was spinning. Newt.

“…Hey, Tommy.” He smiled, his words so soft, it’d actually hurt. Thomas dropped his jaw, as though to say something, and then quickly shut it, not knowing what to say or even think. Newt sniffed, not daring to look the brunette in the eye. “I…um…it’s…been a while.”

Thomas swallowed the lump in his throat, unable to move his legs in fear of collapsing. “…What’d you want?” He hissed, a bitter pressure of sullenness residing in his tone, which caused Newt to give a frown, his anxiety seeming to only increase with every passing moment. “I said what’d you want!” He repeated, his bark causing the other to jump in distress.

Newt turned his vision down to the floor. “’M sorry, Tommy. You left the door open…so…god, I…I shouldn’t have come…I just…I wanted to see you. Bloody hell, I always seem to shuck stuff up for you, huh?” He gave a melancholy chuckle; so hollow it made Thomas want to cry. “…I never meant to hurt ya’ Tommy, you know that, right? Never meant to come back either. I just wanted to…I was tired alright, I was a shucking mess, still am. You always deserved better.”

“You never meant to hurt me?” Thomas held back a sarcastic snigger, blinking his eyes to avoid his weeping. “You took my life away from me, Newt. Who are you to just walk back in here like nothing’s changed? You killed me, Newton. You fucking killed me. I can’t even look at you the same no more.”

Newt turned his head up at Thomas, and the brunette noticed the despondent flash of grief that shimmered in his eye, and it caught him close to tears.

“…I’ll go.” Newt pulled his accustomed artificial smile, hiding the pain that seemed to burn through his chest. He’d become so good at smiling for show; he’d forgotten what a genuine smile should feel like. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Tommy…I don’t want you to forgive me. I just want you to know that hurting you was the biggest mistake of my life. I lost you because I was bloody stupid and selfish and just buggin’ tired of living. You’ve always deserved better, Tommy, always. I hope you find your special someone soon.”

As Thomas watched Newt walk from the center of the room, he found himself unable to breathe. Say something…anything. But he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t. The feeling of deep remorse began to swell in the center of his chest, and Thomas could only pace after him. He stopped as he reached the hallway, because Newt had stopped moving.

The blond stood in front of the door, wiping his eyes. Thomas didn’t need to see his face to know he was crying. Newt never made a sound when he cried. He hated the attention it drew.

Newt hadn’t noticed Thomas watching him by the hallway, unable to hear his footsteps over the blood pounding in his ears. He brought his hand up to open the door, twisting the doorknob with a trembling hand.

He opened it about an inch, only to have it slammed shut with a violent bang. He gasped in surprise, as Thomas stood over him, his arm against the face of the door and his head just beside Newt’s right ear, trapping the blond against the surface.

Newt turned his body to face him, almost intimidated by how close he stood. Thomas felt his breath come in harsh, fast motions as he felt himself grow lightheaded.

“…Please…” Thomas leant all the more closer towards his broken angel, unable to differentiate his rage from his love. “Don’t leave. It hurts bad enough as it is.”

Newt brought his hand up to Thomas’ cheek. “I’m sorry…”

“Sorry?” Thomas took a step away from him, his hand still rested against the door. “I thought you were dead, you fucking idiot…if you knew how much pain you’d put me through over the past four years…”

“I can only imagine.” Newt ran his fingertips along the length of his own arms. “Like I said, you’d be a bloody nutcase to forgive a tosser like me, but I do still care, Tommy, and I ain’t walking out on you again.”

“How do I know you ain’t just saying that?” Thomas spoke with a tone completely shattered by the emotional trauma that’d built up over the years. Every muscle in his body seemed to quiver, and Newt had to resist the urge to reach out to him. “For all I know, you’ll be gone by morning. How long will I have to wait this time? Five years? Ten years? Twenty years? Or maybe you’ll never come back! How can I trust you with my feelings, Newt? How!”

“If you can’t, then don’t.” Newt felt his breath leave him, running his fingertips down the back of his neck, pulling his sleeves even further down to his knuckles. “Just let me trust you with mine.”

Thomas stood away from the younger, and Newt took the opportunity to pace towards the living room. Thomas followed after him, stopping at the doorway. Newt leant against the back of the sofa, twiddling with the strings upon his coat hood. He cleared his throat and swallowed with unease.

“I got a son, Thomas. It ain’t what you think. He doesn’t have a mother; it was a one-night mistake that turned into…something else. Happened the same night I left. I was…feeling worthless. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t mean for…well, after the kid was born, she left him to me and I never saw her again. Never felt anything for that bloody woman, I swear to it. I ain’t had a relationship since…but that ain’t the point.” Thomas stood frozen, his back rested against the doorframe, breath lost to his surroundings. “His name’s Edison.” Newt said with a weak smile.

“…Edison…” Thomas turned his eyes up. “…You named your kid after me.”

“We call ‘im Eddy for short.” Newt noticed his keys were still in the tray, untouched ever since he’d left them there all those years ago. His hoodie still sat on the back of the desk chair he’d left it on. In fact, everything was where it had been before. Perhaps Thomas had left all of his things out because there was still a part of him that believed he would return.

There was a silence between the two. Thomas eventually found his words, and collected his spirits. “…I can’t exactly forgive you for…everything you’ve done…but…” Thomas walked over to where the other stood, looking him up and down, trying to restrain a sigh of respite. “I guess, if you’re planning on sticking around, I can…learn to manage with you at least a little...”

Newt pulled Thomas into a thankful hug, unable to stop himself from weeping, though his smile was genuine. Thomas simply allowed the younger to hold him close, eventually returning the hug, and Newt murmured something into Thomas’ shoulder that he didn’t quite catch. It sounded vaguely familiar to a strained ‘thank you’.


	4. Chapter 4

“So,” Thomas knelt upon the ground, his head being somewhat level with the tiny blond of four feet tall. “You’re the lil’ shank I’ve been hearing so much about, aye?”

“Eddy, this is my friend, Thomas. You wanna’ say hello?” Newt stood behind his son, with Alby’s hand upon his shoulder, and the rest of the boys standing around the apartment. Everyone had been a little surprised by the turn of events from the previous day, though neither Newt nor Thomas seemed willing to talk about it, so, they voluntarily left it be.

“Hello!” Eddy had beamed, smiling up at the brunette with certain contentment. “Boo!”

Thomas gave a mock jump, placing his hand upon his chest. “Jesus Christ, you scared me.” Eddy giggled merrily, a boyish look in his eye as Thomas ruffled his hair. “Ah, god damn, he’s so cute.” Thomas had said up to the others.

“Yeah, yeah, real shucking adorable.” Minho came round the corner of the doorway, his phone in hand as he let out a melodramatic sigh. “Can we go do something, I’m bored as shuck.”

Frypan stretched his arms with a yawn. “Yeah, I’m meeting up with Winston and Teresa down town. You guys can come if you want.”

Minho clapped his hands and followed the guy out with a skip in his step. “Hey, wait up!” Jeff called, pacing after them, rolling his eyes as he tripped over a cardboard box that’d been placed upon the floor.

“Well, I got to go get to work, so I’ll probably see you guys later.” Newt caught Alby’s arm before he had the chance to move out of the room.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” He said in a slight hushed tone. “You think you got a moment?”

“Sure.” He shrugged.

“Uh…Thomas, are you okay with just watching Eddy for a lil’ bit?” Newt asked, turning his attention down to his son.

“I can do that.” Eddy had started pulling at Thomas’ shirtsleeve playfully, causing the brunette to laugh, almost being hauled off balance. “Hey, take it easy, lil’ guy.” Newt simply gave a warming smile to the both of them, before following Alby out to have a private conversation outside.

…

“A job?” Alby gave the blond an almost startled look. “You mean, you’re staying?”

“Well, it’s either here or off to London. I was actually on my way there to visit my family anyways. Was thinking maybe I could leave Eddy there, with ‘is grandparents.” The two sat upon the edge of the pavement, watching passing cars drive by the roadway. “I think he’d like it better here, though.”

“Where you gonna’ stay?”

“Maybe with Teresa. Only until I could afford a place of my own.” Newt gave a frown as he turned his head over his shoulder. “Don’t seem right to ask to live here again.”

“You’re welcome to room with me if you don’t find somewhere.” Alby said with a soft sigh, and the blond gave a thankful smile. “As for work, I can ask around for you. Probably won’t be easy to find a decent one, you know, with it being the middle of the year and all.”

“I don’t really give a shuck at this point. I’d settle for the buggin’ minimum wage if I could get it.” Alby laughed shaking his head.

“We’ll find you something, slint-head. In the mean time, you’d best start looking for a nursery.” 

“Ah, shuck.” Newt’s head fell into his hands. He’d not thought about a nursery for Eddy. Obviously, he wouldn’t be able to look after him during the day if he was working. His previous line of employment had allowed him to work from home, which had been great, up until he lost his job…again.

“Hey, don’t sweat it, you’ve still got plenty time.” Alby slung his arm over Newt’s shoulders, tapping his fingertips against the sidewalk. “Missed you, ya’ know. ‘M glad you came back.”

“Yeah, missed you too…” Newt murmured, crooking his neck with a sigh.   
…

“You say g’bye,  
And I say hello,  
Oh, hello, hello,  
I don’t know why you say goodbye,  
I say hello,  
La, la, la, la, la…”

Eddy’s voice chimed happily through the small apartment, as he doodled on a scrap piece of paper with a pair of blunt crayons. He sat by the kitchen table, swinging his legs from the chair as he sang. Thomas hadn’t noticed the smile pulling at the corner of his own lip, as he watched the little Brit from the other side of the table, taking a sip of his coffee as he did so.

“Like The Beatles?” He’d asked. Eddy grinned, and nodded his head. “Same as your dad, then.”

“Daddy says modern music kills brain cells.” Thomas could barely hold back a chuckle.

“Did he now? Well, we’ll see ‘bout that.” Thomas pulled his phone from his pocket and leant over towards Eddy. The little boy watched with curiosity, resting his elbows against the tabletop. Thomas flipped through his music playlists, and selected a song, before placing the phone on the table, turning up the volume so that Eddy could hear it.

‘Some legends are told,  
Some turn to dust or to gold,  
But you will remember me,  
Remember me for centuries,  
And just one mistake,  
Is all it would take.  
We’ll go down in history,  
Remember me for centuries…’

Eddy smiled tapping his hand against the desk surface as the music played on. “Fall Out Boy, one of the few wonders of the world. Don’t tell your father I played this for you.”

Eddy listened to the song with contentment, and as it came to an end, Thomas had caught the boy still humming the upbeat tune as he resumed his coloring. He’d noticed the kid had a pretty good singing voice for a three-year-old, a trait he must have picked up from his father.

Thomas remembered when Newt used to hum cheerful melodies whilst he worked. His voice was always so quiet, but the brunette never failed to notice. It had been the most beautiful sound in the world to him, and it’d be a lie to say he didn’t miss waking up to that soft tender voice every morning.

“What’s that?” Eddy asked in a high tone of voice, pointing at the silver chain around Thomas’ neck. He looked down at the silver ring that hung by his chest and sighed.

“Oh, it’s…uh…it’s nothing really, just a silly little thing I gave your dad a few years back.” Thomas felt his nerves creep up on him, and he shook his head at himself, carding his fingers through his hair. “He didn’t need it anymore, so he gave it back to me before he left town.”

“It’s pretty.” Eddy giggled, placing his head against the desk. “It looks like a tiny hula hoop.”

Thomas smirked. “Yeah, guess it does.” He glanced down at Eddy’s sheet of paper. It was mainly just a spiral of bright colors, all compiled into a chaotic blob in the center of the page. “What you drawing there, kiddo?”

“A dragon dinosaur monster mutant thingy.” Eddy said with a jolly chortle.

“Roar!” Thomas snarled, causing the boy to laugh chirpily. “So, what does this dragon dinosaur monster mutant thingy eat?”

“Mostly broccoli.” He explained, drawing a green bush-like shape on the edge of the page.

“Huh. Never heard of a vegan dragon before.” Thomas raised his brow and Eddy gave a melodramatic sigh.

“It’s not a dragon, it’s a--”

“Dragon dinosaur monster mutant thingy, oh do excuse me.” Eddy beamed and nodded his head, letting Thomas ruffle his hair affectionately.

“You guys look like you’re having fun.” Alby called from the doorway. Newt stood beside him with his arms folded and head lolled back against the wall.

“Sorry it took so long.” Newt stated. “Lost track of time.” Eddy jumped from his stool and ran over towards his dad, hugging his leg with a friendly smile.

“Don’t sweat it.” Thomas had assured. “This guy’s been pretty entertaining.”

“Well, good that.” Newt nodded.

“We should probably get going. I’m already thirty minutes late.” Alby glanced at the lopsided wall clock and started making his way out the door. Eddy began to tetchily pull at Newt’s arm, demanding to be picked up. Newt complied, rolling his eyes before scooping his son off the ground, heaving him up into his arms with a gentle huff.

“Bloody hell, someone’s getting heavy.” He muttered.

As Newt held Eddy closer to his chest, the sleeve upon his shirt pulled up the sides of his arm, exposing only a few inches of skin. Thomas had only caught a fine glimpse of the several harsh scars that ran along the blonde’s pale wrist for a mere second, before it was once again disguised by the edge of his shirt cuff.

Thomas felt his heart begin to sink. “Newt.”

“Yeah?” The Brit had responded, laughing as Eddy began tugging lightly at the roots of his hair. The little boy chuckled as his father lightly bat his hand away. “Somethin’ the matter, Tommy?”

“…Uh…” Thomas took a glance at the kid, before shrugging his shoulders, disregarding his worries for the time being. “It can wait.”

Newt gave a fair nod, before leaving the room. Thomas stood rather still for a few minutes, even after he heard the soft click of the front door being closed. Something told him this wasn’t going to end well, but regardless, he couldn’t find it in his heart to walk away from it.

…

The day had ended sooner than expected. Newt found himself on Alby’s sofa, his sleeves rolled to the crooks of his elbows as he surfed through the Internet, writing up an email to his parents explaining why he wouldn’t be coming over to London this year. Eddy sat beside him, watching cartoons on TV whilst slowly falling off to sleep and subconsciously humming ‘Centuries by Fall Out Boy’.

Newt raised his brow in astonishment, once he’d caught on to his son’s drowsy murmurs. “Where’d you hear that from?”

“Nowhere.” He crooned back.

“You lying?”

“Yeah.” Newt smirked and flicked the boy on the back of the head. Eddy fell into his father’s lap, his head resting against Newt’s knee.

“Hey, so what’d you think about this side o’ town? You like it?” Eddy barely had his eyes open, mustering his last remaining ounce of energy to supply a brief nod. “And…what would you say if I told you we were going to stay for a little while? Maybe even buy a place of our own down here?”

“I’d say…” Newt noticed his son was far too tired to have this conversation, and decided to drop it; grabbing the remote and turning the television off, letting his boy fall off to sleep beside him. “I’d say…good that.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written at 12:20 am, so I apologise for any mistakes or just generally crappy writing. I'm really fucking tired right now, so I'm gonna go sleep...have a good one fellas :D

The next four weeks past by faster than Newt had anticipated mainly consisting of both him and his son setting into a daily routine. Every morning, Newt would drop Eddy off at Teresa’s place before heading out to the center of town to do some job hunting. It wasn’t exactly the easiest of tasks, considering Newt only had qualifications in the field of art.

After the day had passed, Newt would pick his son up from Teresa’s house, and spend the rest of the day with him before taking him back to Alby’s. He’d not returned to his old apartment since the second day, just in case he was to have an awkward collision with Thomas. He knew he probably didn’t want to see him anyways. He felt somewhat guilty for trying to avoid him, but nevertheless, thought it best if he did so.

Newt sat upon a bench just outside the employment office. He’d had enough of all that job agency bullshit. He didn’t need some bloody man in a suit to tell him what he could and couldn’t do. Besides, if he couldn’t find a job himself, how did he expect others to do if for him?

Newt pulled his phone from his pocket. Four unseen messages appeared on his dashboard, all from the same ID.

(Minho): Newt.  
(Minho): Answer me  
(Minho): You shuck-faced shank.  
(Minho): Don’t make me beat your ass >:(  
(Newt): Can you take a buggin’ chill pill, bloody hell!  
(Minho): Finally! I called you like five shucking times already, God!  
(Newt): What do you want? I’m busy.  
(Minho): No you’re not, don’t lie to me.  
(Minho): Just in case you forgot, it’s Teresa’s birthday tomorrow.  
(Minho): We’re throwing a party tonight for early celebrations and all that, so, be there.  
(Newt): You’re bloody kidding me.  
(Minho): Okay, seriously man, you got to get your social life back.  
(Minho): Like no offense, but, like, how long has it been since you last got laid?  
(Newt): You’re shucking disgusting.  
(Minho): You’re going.  
(Minho): Plus, Teresa will personally make your life a living hell if you don’t.  
(Minho): I already called a baby sitter to watch Ed tonight, so don’t sweat it.

Newt grumbled, running his fingers through his untamed hair. He fucking hated parties…or any form of social gathering to be mournfully honest. He’d not been to one for the past four years, and considering the fact he’d practically forgotten the general conventions of socializing, he wasn’t particularly looking forward to this one either. He stood from his place on the bench, just in time to hear his phone go off once more.

(Minho): Don’t bring a date :P

Newt rolled his eyes, making a mental note to himself as a reminder to slap Minho over the head next time he got the chance.

…

“In the town where I was born  
Lived a man who sailed the sea,  
And he told us of his life  
In the land of submarines  
We all live in a yellow submarine,  
A yellow submarine  
A yellow submarine…”

“That kid’s always singing, ain’t he?” Alby smirked, taking a large bite of his apple as he leant against the kitchen counter. Thomas nodded with an adoring smile, watching as Eddy began jumping up and down on the sofa, building some kind of fort with Alby’s furniture cushions. “What you doing there, kid?”

“I’m making a bloody castle!” He’d exclaimed, as though it were blatantly obvious. “Can’t survive the dragon dinosaur monster mutant thingy attack without a buggin’ castle!”

Alby had to stop himself from dropping his jaw, settling for a negligibly chortle beneath his breath. “Could this shank be any more British?”

“Spittin’ image.” Thomas uttered. “Why’s he not at Teresa’s today?”

“He was, but Minho asked me to pick him up and bring him back here so they could set up for the party.” Alby made his way over to the fridge and grabbed himself a diet soda. “You going by the way?”

“Ah, I don’t know. Might be a lil’ awkward if he’s there.” He shrugged, turning his eyes down demurely towards the floor.

“Hey, you’re gonna’ have to face him at some point, Thomas.” Alby nudged him on the shoulder, eying the ring around his neck. “Still got that, huh?”

“’Course I still got it.” Thomas cleared his throat, fiddling with the tips of his fingers.

“If that means what I think it means,” He gave Thomas a good slap on the shoulder, “you should go to the party.”’

“…You know as well as I do, after what Newt did--”

“I don’t want to know about Newt, Thomas, I want to know what YOU want.” Alby gave a fatigued huff, handing Thomas his can. “You guys haven’t talked in, what, like a month? That’s not normal. The sooner the both of you start talking again, the easier it’ll be.” Thomas nodded in agreement, though felt his stomach begin to sour at the very thought.

…

Minho and Newt had arrived at the party at around eleven PM. 

Newt had known he’d made a mistake as soon as he walked through Teresa’s front door, and was greeted by the horrid stench of alcohol that poisoned all of his senses, followed by the suffocation of being enclosed in a horde of bodies, dancing, drinking, singing and shouting like there was no tomorrow. Minho had set up the speakers so they ran through the entire house; blasting music so flamboyantly through the building it was close to shattering the windows.

Newt managed to weave his way through the young reckless men and women, bustling into the kitchen with a sigh. No matter where he went, he seemed surrounded by people he’d never met before. “Y’ alright there, shank?” Newt turned his head to see Ben standing over his shoulder, a beer in one hand.

“’M fine.” Newt replied, stealing Ben’s bottle and finishing the remaining contents in one go, much to Ben’s surprise.

“Aye, relax, slint-head.” He smirked. “Have a lil’ fun, would ya’?”

“Fun? Really? Are you shucking kidding me?” Newt’s brow quirked up as he stole another can of alcohol from the kitchen table. It’d then come to Ben’s attention that he’d never actually seen Newt drunk before, and the idea struck a nerve that seemed to pull a smile across his face. By the time his attentiveness drifted back to the Brit, he was already onto another bottle.

“You sure you should be drinking so much, buddy?” Ben had asked in a slur, not entirely sober himself.

“I’m not shucking driving, ya’ bloody tosser.” Newt rolled his eyes and continued to drink. “If I have to go through this buggin’ hell, I’m going through it drunk over my bloody ass.”

Ben wrinkled his nose with a wide grin. “Fine by me.”

…

“Holy shit, I think I’m gonna’ be sick.” Thomas choked, handing the glass of Moonshine back to Gally.

“Hey, it ain’t that bad, ya’ shank.” Gally took a gulp of the sweltering alcohol, wincing at the bitter spice before beating his fist against his chest with a rasping cough. “Yeah…okay…good that.”

Thomas had been at the party since midnight, and was already starting to feel a little woozy, what with enough whiskey in his system to kill a man, accompanied by the growling music hammering in his ears. He wasn’t so much drunk as he was tired, since Thomas found that his alcohol tolerance was evidently rather high.

He’d decided to go on a scavenger hunt to find Teresa, wish her a happy birthday, and then get the fuck out of here.

It was only when he spotted Newt at the other side of the room surrounded by a bunch of guys handing him several glasses of vodka that Thomas ceased any further movement. He seemed fairly tipsy, stumbling as he took down yet another shot with a half-smile on his lips, wiping a drop of liquor from the corner of his mouth and licking it off his fingertip, causing a few of the men around him to swoon and lean ever so closer to the charming little blond.

The sight made Thomas’ blood boil to a dangerous measure. He watched with pure resentment as the men subtly flirted with the clueless Brit, standing way too close for comfort and offering him drink after drink after drink.

It was only when one of the men placed his hand on Newt’s hip that Thomas truly felt his restrain snap in two. That son of a mother-fucking bitch.

He paced over, his mind fuming, drawing the stranger’s attention, before grabbing the neckline of the man’s shirt and balling his fist across his jawline, sending him tumbling against the countertop, clutching at his jaw in pain as he let out a groan of discomfort, cursing allowed with a drawn huff.

Thomas had noticed the few staring eyes as he rolled up his shirtsleeve, but couldn’t care less. His attention turned back to the drunken young blond, who’d been caught in a daze the minute he’d stepped over. “Shuck it.” Thomas grabbed Newt’s arm and began dragging him out of the house. To his surprise, Newt had refrained from any form of protest.

He dragged him out all the way to his car, at which point he stopped, brutally hitting his fist against the bonnet to let off some steam, before turning back to Newt, a look of confusion on his unsettled face. “Y’ alright, Tommy?” He’d murmured, stumbling a little closer to the brunette.

“Alright? Of course I’m not fucking alright! You--fuck, how much have you had to drink?” Thomas had to restrain himself from howling out as Newt gave a nonchalant shrug. There was a bleak silence between the two, as Thomas ran the palm of his hand over his dazed eyes. “I can’t believe you just let those guys take advantage of you like that.”

Newt frowned, obviously too far through his drunken state to completely comprehend the situation. “What’d ya mean?”

“Those fucking klunk-ass bastards had their hands all over you for fuck’s sake!” Thomas found himself rubbing at his temples in a vague attempt to sooth his nerves. “You know what, just get in the car, I’ll take you back to Alby’s, alright?”

“I don’t got a key.” Newt grumbled, soundly lolling his head towards the night sky.

“…Fine.” Thomas opened the car door and ushered Newt into the passenger seat, before getting into the driver’s seat himself. “I’ll take us back to our…my…uh, fuck, I’ll take you back to the apartment. You can stay the night to sober up. Best Eddy not see you like this.”

“This a new car?” Newt asked.

“Yeah…you crashed the old one before you left.”

There was another silence, as Thomas began to start up the car. He began making his way down the road at a slow pace. “You wanna know a secret?” Newt smirked, his eyes barely open as his head rested against the back of the seat. “I love you, ya’ know.”

“You’re drunk.” The brunette stated bluntly, though his heart faltered once more.

“So? Just because m’ bloody smashed, don’t mean I don’t mean it.” Newt giggled, placing his feet upon the dashboard. “You wanna know another secret, Tommy? The only reason I buggin’ left was because I wanted to die, ‘n my life was straight up miserable. You were the one thing that kept me going, you know. Would have ended myself right then and there if it hadn’t been for you. I’m a shucking idiot, ya’ know? First lost my job, my boyfriend, my LIFE, and now I gone got myself a bloody kid.” Newt shook his head at the roof of the car. “It all went to klunk after I lost you, Tommy. ‘M sorry.”

Thomas couldn’t seem to find it in himself to draw a suitable line that could possibly describe how he was feeling. Why? Why hadn’t his love been enough for him? Why had he let Newt become so depressed that he’d actually wanted to kill himself? This was his fucking fault. If he had shown Newt just how much he cared, he wouldn’t have left. Thomas would have screamed, if he weren’t so choked up. “I’m sorry too.”

“You shouldn’t be. Heck, if I could turn back time, I’d go back to the day I left an’ slap myself over the fuckin’ head.” Newt crooked his neck lazily so his dark brown eyes caught Thomas in a cherished gaze. The brunette knew those eyes anywhere. “I’d say to myself, ‘stop ya’ fucking whining and bloody deal with it, coz’ that man is the best thing that’s ever and will ever happen to ya’. You walk out that door, and you’ll be losing the one thing you need in this world, and that’s ‘im, so stop being so buggin’ selfish and man the fuck up!’”

Thomas momentarily pulled the car over and turned to Newt, a shine in his eye. “Newt, on a scale of one to ten, one being fine and ten being totally fucking hammered, where’d you say you’re at?”

Newt shrugged. “Like twenty-seven.”

“So you probably won’t remember this tomorrow, right?”

Newt sniffed, nodding slightly.

“Good.” Thomas leant over towards the blond, gently pulling him up by his shoulders and catching his delicate lips in a soft tender kiss, the bitter taste of alcohol still evident upon his skin. The touch was warm and somewhat electric, and for once in his life, it made Thomas feel alive again.

When he pulled away, he noticed Newt had gone from a subtle pale, to a deep blush upon his cheeks, and Thomas resisted the urge to chuckle.

“Sorry, I just…had to do that…one last time.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to update this about two days ago, but I managed to break my arm during day two to three, so here I am at, what, day five or something, with a broken arm and a crappy chapter that was written in like half an hour because I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I'm sick as fuck.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy x
> 
> (Ah, the perks of being a miserable fucktard. Oh, I am so retarded.)

Newt woke the next morning not knowing where the fuck he was, the first thing he seemed to notice being the strangely familiar sensation of soft bed sheets and dim morning light seeping through the cracked window. The second thing being the not quite as pleasant ache that threatened to put a hole in his skull. He gave himself a personal reminder to never let himself get this fucking drunk ever again.

He lazily rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, reluctantly heaving himself to an upright position with his back pressed against the sideboard. It was only when he straightened himself and let his weary eyes scan jadedly across the room that he finally realized where he was.

This was his room. This was his side of his old bed. He was in his old apartment. It was then that Newt felt himself start to panic, though; his head was spinning far too much to even process the situation suitably.

The last thing he remembered was getting really fucking hammered. He found himself drawing an uncomfortable blur after about the seventh glass. Though there was one thing he seemed to recall that was somewhat out of the ordinary. He had a vague and conceded memory of Thomas, as though his body had memorized the brunette’s touch, leaving invisible marks on his skin that reminded him of the man’s warmth. He felt it on his hands, his arms and his lips, though he couldn’t remember why.

It was then that said brunette appeared round the corner of the doorway, leaning against its frame, a natural look upon his fatigued face. “G’morning.” He uttered politely, crossing his arms over his chest.

“…Not really.” Newt began to rub the side of his head with the tip of his finger. “Bloody hell, what the shuck happened?”

Thomas held a laugh of amusement, sitting upon the edge of the bed with a warm smile gracing his lips. “Y’ got a lil’ bit drunk yesterday, so I brought you back here. I slept on the sofa, so, don’t worry yourself about anything weird happening.”

Newt found himself unable to speak for a good while, both confusion and the extreme daze of alcohol taking toll in his stupor. Thomas began to feel the obstinate tension begin to build between them, and decided to change the subject.

“When you’re ready, Eddy’s waiting to see ya’. He’s been here since seven. He insisted on coming over. Bugged Alby for thirty minutes straight before he agreed to take him down here.” Thomas chuckled. “He’s a stubborn lil’ shank, aye?”

Newt gave a lighthearted chuckle, running his fingers through his hair with a shrug. “Tell ‘im I’ll be out in a minute.” Thomas gave an obligated salute and turned to make his way out. “’N Tommy,” He stilled, arching his head over his shoulder to face the blond, who wore a smile so pure an innocent, it made his heart stop beating entirely. “Thank you…for looking after me yesterday. It was sweet of you. I…don’t really remember any of it, but…I’m glad you were there.”

Thomas couldn’t seem to turn his eyes to meet his, at least not without feeling as though his soul were crumbling into dust. Newt simply gave him a look of pure unadulterated virtue, and he had no choice but to return the smile. “No problem.”

He made haste to get out of the situation as soon as possible, turning from the door and making his way into the living room, running his hand up to the back of his neck with a given sigh.

‘She’s in a long black coat tonight,  
Waiting for me in the down pour outside  
She’s saying ‘Baby, come home’ in a melody of tears  
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time…’

Eddy lay upside down on the sofa, his head hanging off the edge as he hummed along to the soft sound of the radio in the background. “Hello, Mister.” Eddy beamed, as Thomas let himself fall back into the space upon the sofa beside the boy. Eddy pushed himself back upright and copied Thomas’ sitting position with as much nonchalance as the three-year-old could muster.

Thomas raised his brow a little. “Since when did I become Mister?”

“Don’t you like Mister? Would you rather I called you Tommy, like daddy does?” He asked, a soft smile gracing his youthful face. Thomas flinched, though shook his head and slung his arm over Eddy’s shoulder.

“You know, I think I’m good with Mister.”

Eddy chuckled highly, giving Thomas a hug around his stomach. He seemed to have a strange liking to him. “Okay, because Tommy is daddy’s ‘special name’ for you, isn’t it?”

“…You’re one hella’ cheeky shank, you know that, kid?” He gave the boy a light poke on the belly, causing Eddy to burst into laughter.

The little boy then seemed to stop, turning his head over to the sideboard beside the door. He noticed a small blue frame sitting upon the table’s surface, holding a picture of a familiar young pair in the midst of a beautiful summer.

“Is that you and daddy?” Eddy asked.

Thomas turned to the picture before letting out a gruff sigh and crooning his neck to the rooftop. “Yep. You know, your daddy used to live here.”

“Why did he go away?” Eddy rested his head against Thomas’ knee, as he would with his real daddy, staring up at him with the same innocent brown eyes his father had.

Thomas cleared his throat, adjusting his sitting position. “Well, kid…the thing you got to understand ‘bout adults is that sometimes they just get kind of sad, n’ end up doing stuff that don’t really make sense to them, or anyone really. Thing is, that don’t change who they are. Your daddy left because he was feeling sad, wanted to get away from it all I guess, to make himself feel better.”

“I think daddy feels better when he’s here.” The boy was caught staring at the blue-framed picture of the happy couple by the door with a melancholy frown. “Never seen daddy smile so much.”

“…You know, for a kid, you sure do know a lot about the world.”

…

(Some years ago…)

“Okay, shut up for a second.” Newt ushered, placing his hand over Thomas’ mouth as he held the phone to his ear. Thomas raised his eyebrow questioningly and kissed the palm of Newt’s hand, pulling him down onto the sofa with him, a huge grin upon his face.

“I’ll shut up when I wanna’, thank you very much.” Newt laughed as Thomas wrapped his arms around him in a warm bear hug, kissing him down the back of his neck with a cheeky smile on his lips.

“Hey, cut it out, ya’ bloody shank!” Newt smirked affectionately, attempting to push Thomas’ off him, and evidently failing. “It’s a buggin’ business call.”

“Business calls are for old people.” Thomas managed to pry the phone from Newt’s hands and place it upon the table, holding the younger to his chest and nuzzling the crook of his neck.

“You’re a buggin’ dork, Tommy, you know that?” Newt murmured as their fingers intertwined.

“Yet you still love me.” Thomas placed a kiss on the blonde’s cheek.

“’Course I love you. I’ll always love you.”

Thomas chuckled. “Now who’s the dork?” Newt gave the brunette a light punch in the arm, tugging at his shirtsleeve. “I love ya’ too, Newt.”

…

(Now…)

“How you feeling?” Thomas asked, as Newt stood beside him by the kitchen counter, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Fine, I guess.” He stated, grabbing a teaspoon from the tray. “Thanks for watching ‘im by the way.” The two of them glanced out through the doorway, Eddy having settled by the table, making some sort of tower out of Thomas’ domino tiles.

“Ah, s’right. I like that kid anyways.”

“Well, he likes you too. Should have seen him last Saturday, kept asking to come back here. I would have brought him over, but…” Newt shrugged, taking a sip from his cup with a melancholy sigh.

“Yeah, no, I get it.” Thomas said, avoiding eye contact by turning his attention towards the window on the other side of the room. “It’s awkward.”

“I don’t want it to be.” Newt admitted, placing his cup onto the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. “You know I miss being around you, Thomas.”

“Miss having you around.” He replied with a light-hearted chuckle. “But, you know, maybe it’s better off that way.”

“…You make it sound like it’s impossible for us to even be in the same room together.” Newt stated, feeling a slight discomfort at the words. “Thomas…Tommy…if you don’t want me around…if me being around you is hurting you, just bloody tell me already. I ain’t here to make your life a living hell…it’s just…every time I see you, I miss you even more than I did before.”

Thomas wasn’t quite sure how to reply. There was so much he could have said. He wanted to tell him how much he needed him in his life, but couldn’t help feeling as though every part of his living soul were shattering as every moment spent with him passed on by. It was then he turned his eyes down to Newt’s hands, and the pain only grew worse. “You ever gonna’ tell me ‘bout the scars, or am I gonna’ have to force it out of you?”

Newt looked at the marks on his wrist, his heart faltering as he instinctively pulled his shirtsleeves down to his hands. “It ain’t what you think--”

“Then what is it?” Thomas kept his voice low, so as not to alert Eddy of their conversation, though still kept a firm tone.

“I only ever thought about it. I never tried to kill myself, Thomas.” Newt ran his hands up his arms. “I just…needed something to distract myself from...well everything. The pain, it distracted me from my emotions, and it…it helped…I was just scared, always have been. It ain’t easy, you know, I just…I’m sorry.”

“How many times?” Thomas asked, taking his hand and pulling his sleeve up to examine the fine scars.

“Once, sometimes twice a week…haven’t done anything for a while though.” Newt closed his eyes, ashamed of himself. Thomas gently traced each scar with his thumb, causing the blond to flinch.

“I didn’t know you were…well…I guess…”

“I hide it pretty good. I know people would judge me if they saw...I’m actually surprised you noticed.” Without so much as an ounce of hesitation, Thomas brought Newt’s hand to his lips, and placed a tender kiss upon one of his scars. Newt tensed, and sensibly brought his hand away taking an urgent step back, and Thomas felt a tinge of fear, worried he may have hurt him.

“…I’m sorry, I--”

“It’s fine, just wasn’t expecting it.” Newt smiled, a light laugh seeming to pass him by, as though it’d not happened at all. Thomas stared him down with a look of pronounced concern. “Thanks again for looking after Eddy. We should talk again some time.” Thomas noticed the blonde’s stiffness as he paced out the kitchen door, clearing his throat and picking his son off the tabletop.

Thomas stood by the hall, his eyes dark with an unknown sentiment.

“Tomorrow, nine o’clock.” Newt paused, turning his attention towards the brunette.

“Sorry?”

“You said we should talk again some time. Tomorrow, nine o’clock, here. I’m taking you out to dinner.” Thomas crossed his arms, not giving Newt the opportunity to protest. “Regardless of what’s happened in the past, we’re going out to dinner, and we’re going as friends. We’re gonna’ talk and this awkward thing between us, it’s not gonna’ happen again. I’m not gonna’ let it happen again. I don’t want to be eradicated from you life just because of…well, everything.”

Newt smiled, hauling Eddy up into his arms and kissing him on the forehead. “Fine. But I’m taking Eddy to visit a few schools around town tomorrow, so I might be a little--”

“Daddy,” Eddy called with a frown. “Can Mister Thomas go with us tomorrow, pleeeeaaaassssee?”

Newt blinked at his son with a look of surprise. “Is that what you want, kiddo?” Eddy nodded robustly. “…Okay, as long as it’s alright with him.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This chapter is really shitty and kind of sappy, plus I have a cold so, don't judge me. I SEE COLORS O_o

“Why do I have to go to school anyway?” Eddy had asked, rocking his legs back and forth as he and Thomas sat leisurely upon the two swings in the playground. Newt was taking his good time talking to the principal, most likely trying to find a way to get his son a scholarship. Thomas had noticed Newt had been rather warn down for the most part of the day, and he suspected it’d been because of all the effort the blond had put into trying to get his son a good education with the money he had, which was hardly anything.

“Because without school, how do you expect to learn anything?” Thomas replied, watching as the boy lolled his head towards the sun with an innocent smile.

“I learn from my daddy.” Eddy stated firmly.

“Your daddy can’t teach you everything, you know that, right?” The kid frowned, standing up onto the seat of the swing and swaying himself into a momentum.

“Anything that daddy doesn’t know I don’t need to know.” Thomas gave Eddy a helpful hand, aiding him by gently pushing the swing as it rocked backwards.

“Well, your daddy wants you to learn so that you can have an awesome life in the future. The more you learn now, the more you’ll be able to achieve when you grow up.” Eddy shrugged his shoulders, and Thomas simply chuckled. “What do you wanna’ do when you grow up, anyway?”

“I wanna be a singer.” Eddy replied. “Like Patrick Stump and John Lennon.”

“Hah, well, good that.” Eddy jumped from the swing and sat upon the ground. “Got the potential if you ask me.”

“…Are you ever going to give that back to daddy?” The boy asked, pointing at the silver chain around Thomas’ neck. The ring itself had been tucked into the brunette’s shirt, but the kid seemed to recognize the chain.

“…I don’t think he wants it anymore.” Thomas replied honestly.

“How can you know for sure unless you give it back to him?” Eddy huffed, tapping Thomas on the knee and demanding he move up. The swing was just wide enough for Thomas to make room for Eddy to sit beside him resting his tiny head upon his shoulder. “Adults are weird.”

“Yeah, well, life gets a little more complicated as you grow up, kiddo.” Thomas gave Eddy a light elbow to the side of his arm. “But you know, a kid like you, I’m sure you’ll be alright.”

“I ain’t worried about me.” Eddy established.

With that, Thomas spotted a familiar fatigued young blond make his way out of the school building, wearing an expression so exhausted it made Thomas feel worse than he already did. Eddy spontaneously jumped from his side, dashing over as fast as he could to meet Newt at the other side of the playground, hugging the blonde’s leg with contentment. Newt simply gave a weak smirk and tussled his boy’s hair.

“Sorry, the Principal and I were just having a chat about school fees and that.” Newt sighed broadly, as Thomas eventually made his way over. “Hope you didn’t get too bored waiting.”

“It’s fine. Wasn’t that long anyways.” Thomas said. “Hey, if you’re too tired to go out tonight--”

“No, I’m alright. Promise.” Newt confirmed with a smile that threatened to put a hole in Thomas’ heart.

“You don’t have to pretend for me, Newt. It’s okay, really.” Thomas pleaded, and Newt seemed to take appreciation in Thomas’ comfort.

“…Well, regardless, I’m not canceling. Unless of course, you’ve suddenly lost interest.” Newt leered with a giggle.

Thomas smiled fondly, rolling his eyes at the guy. “In your dreams.”

…

“It’s the same as spaghetti, just without the sauce.” Thomas chuckled idly, watching as the blond stabbed helplessly at the bowl of noodles in front of him.

“It’s not spaghetti, you bloody slint-head! Spaghetti doesn’t need to be forged out of its container with a set of buggin’ pencils.” Newt grumbled, dropping the chopsticks onto the surface of the table with a huff of exasperation.

“I can’t believe you’ve lived on this earth for twenty-one years and you don’t know how to use a pair of chopsticks.” Thomas shook his head in mock-disappointment and Newt simply grumbled, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. “Just for future reference, you’re supposed to eat the food not try to murder it.”

“Ah, shut up Tommy.” Newt laughed, as the brunette handed him a spoon to replace his discarded set of chopsticks. “Next time, we’re going for burgers.”

“Burgers? Are you kidding me?” Thomas said with a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. “How dull can you get?”

“Nothing wrong with burgers, Mister Edison.”

“Right you are, Mister Newton. Or would you prefer Isaac?” Newt gave Thomas a light kick to the shin from his seat across the table, which only caused the brunette to laugh that much more. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are like, I don’t know, twenty or thirty guys in this place that have totally been checking you out.”

“Oh, is that so?” Newt questioned inquisitively.

“Well, either that or they’re just really intrigued by your brand of jeans.” Thomas huffed, and Newt hid his laugh behind his hand. “Can’t say I blame them though.”

“For what, checking me out or being intrigued by my brand of jeans?” The two laughed and glanced about the room.

“Both I guess.” Thomas finally said, letting his back fall against the face of his chair.

“I take that as a complement in both aspects.” Newt said, the tip of his finger tracing absently at the brim of his wine glass. “…Thanks for sticking with Eddy today by the way. The guy adores you, ya know.”

“Well, he’s a great kid.” Thomas uttered in a soft tone. “Gonna’ be just like his dad when he’s older.”

“Tuh, sure hope not.” The blond took a sip from his glass and sighed bitterly. “I’d rather he be influenced by someone like you, Tommy. You, you’re what a father should be.”

Thomas frowned, disliking the way Newt seemed to darken beneath his eyes, and how his emotion grew colder with every passing moment. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Put yourself down like that. You’re always doing it, telling yourself you’re nothing but shit, making it out as though you’re worth nothing to anyone. Newt. You’re fine the way you are. No, you’re perfect the way you are. Don’t feel as though you need to go changing yourself, because that’s just bullshit, okay? You’re…awesome, okay, just, fucking awesome. Whatever shit you did in the past, that’s the past and there’s no changing it. I want you to live again, do you understand?” Thomas leant over the table and looked Newt directly in the eye. Maybe the wine was just getting to him. Either that or he’d completely lost his mind all together.

Newt simply smiled, resting his elbows against the tabletop. “Whatever you say, Tommy.”

“No, no, no. Repeat after me. I am awesome.” Thomas hit his fist against the tabletop and Newt couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh my god--”

“Say it!” Thomas demanded.

“I’m awesome.” Newt huffed, and Thomas shook his head.

“Louder, god dammit!” Thomas ordered with a ridiculous expression upon his face that practically sent Newt to tears in an outburst of chuckles.

“I’m fucking awesome, alright?!”

“Exactly!” Newt leant over the table and placed his hand against Thomas’ mouth to stop him from shouting and drawing any more attention than they already had. The blond had gained a faint blush from his fits of uncontrollable laughter, trying to calm himself without getting them kicked out of the restaurant.

Thomas murmured something, eventually batting the guy’s hand away from his face with a low chuckle. “Why do you smell like lemons?” Thomas questioned, remarking the pleasant smell of the other’s skin.

“It’s called hand gel.” Newt smirked. “You might want to try it.”

“Yeah, don’t think I’ve reached that level of gay just yet.” The two laughed once more, and neither of them had noticed when their feet entwined beneath the table, too distracted by one another, laughing and joking as the night drew on, and unknowingly falling deeper and deeper into a spiral of eternal affection that they’d never known was there in the first place.

…

“There’s a difference between pop music and popular music. Pop music is shit.” Newt said in an ‘as-a-matter-of-fact’ tone, as the two of them made their way down to Alby’s house. This day had been the most comfortable the two had been around each other since Newt’s return, and Thomas was enjoying himself more than he thought he would.

“Not unless shitty music is popular, and I mean, let’s be honest, it is.” Thomas replied his hands rested at the back of his head as they strolled leisurely across the street.

“Yeah, guess so.” Newt turned his head towards the brunette. “Which reminds me. I’m guessing you’re the one who introduced Eddy to Fallout Boy?”

Thomas sniggered, shaking his head and stuffing his hands into his jean pockets. “Well, maybe a lil’ bit.”

“You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“Hey, the kid loves alternative rock.” Thomas stated.

“Yeah, that’s why he blasts it from Alby’s speakers every morning at five AM…Five. AM. Thomas.” Newt hissed, and the man simply swung his arm over the guy’s shoulder.

“You’ll thank me in a few years. Eddy’s gonna’ become a legend I tell you, a legend.”

“Hah, if you say so.” The two eventually arrived at the doorstep, and Newt stood upon the mat leading up towards the house. “Thanks for, uh, well everything.”

“Don’t mention it.” Thomas insisted. “See you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Thomas turned to leave, before stopping in his tracks, turning his head back to the blond and making his way up towards him. “I should probably give you this.” He pulled at the silver chain around his neck, handing Newt the familiar old ring. “Your kid keeps asking me to give it back to you.”

The blond appeared stunned at the very sight of the tarnished piece of metal, slipping it over his finger with a heavy sigh of liberation. “I…can’t believe you still have this…”

“Well, couldn’t throw it away could I?” Thomas chuckled. Newt simply stared up at him, feeling a strong warmth in his chest that had been long dead since that moment. “I guess…I just thought that maybe if I kept hold of it, then someday…you might just come back to me.”

“…Thank you, Tommy.” Newt voiced in barely a whisper, “I can’t tell you just how much this means to me.”

“…Then don’t.” He gave the man a tender smile, and Newt couldn’t seem to do anything more about the situation, but give Thomas a timid kiss upon the cheek. It was short and sweet and only left the both of them that much more confused, and Newt found himself unwilling to look Thomas in the eye, feeling too shy to even say anything coherent. “…I…”

“I should probably just--”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Thomas ran his fingers through his hair tautly. “Um…yeah.”

“Night, Tommy.” Newt said, not turning his head to look up and ushering himself into the house.

“Night, Newt.” As he heard the door close softly behind the blond, Thomas turned his eyes towards the night sky, letting himself breathe well for the first time in four years. “…I love you.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a total twat.  
> In my defence, it is test week where I am, I have a cold, my head hurts and I lost my laptop -_-  
> This was written on my phone so do excuse any shitty spelling mistakes (I am actually the worst person in the history of mankind)  
> Sorry for the irregular updates. TEST STRESS JUST GETS TO YOU O_o
> 
> Just a tip, if you haven't done GCSEs yet and still picking your subjects, let me just say...DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT PICK BOTH ART AND DRAMA BECAUSE THE ART END GCSE IS LIKE 18 HOURS LONG AND IN THAT SAME WEEK THERE'S A DRAMA EXAMINATION AND YOU WILL GET STRESSED AS FUCK.  
> But yeah, that's only a guideline. Go ahead, knock yourself out with a fucking stress bomb if you want to, it's your choice :)
> 
> Ps this chapter is crap.  
> Heads up. Next chapter will be WAY better because shit actually happens :O

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. For the most part, not much had changed. Newt was still living in Alby’s apartment, unemployed with his money almost run completely dry. The good thing was that Eddy didn’t seem to mind, since Newt had been spending a bit more time with Thomas.

Eddy wasn’t exactly sure as to what it was about the brunette that made his father so happy, but all he knew for sure is that when Thomas was around, things just went a lot better. His daddy seemed to smile a lot more than he used to, which only made Eddy that much more content with his life in this strange city.

For Newt, well, with no job, no money, no car, no home and no sex, life was looking a little dull. Though, despite him lacking in the vitals for general human life, he found himself to be getting better. Up until then, his time had been exactly the same, just minus the happiness. Now, he never had a chance to be lonely, because he never seemed to be alone. For the first time in a long while, Newt actually felt like he could settle down like this.

As for Thomas, their relationship was nowhere near perfect; in fact, Thomas hadn’t a clue as to what their relationship was in the first place. On most days, Newt would bring Eddy over to Thomas’ apartment, and the two would talk over a cup of coffee whilst the boy listened to some CDs from the brunette’s music collection. In truth, Thomas was so confused about their relationship, he’d actually considered going to The Gladers for some advice, then thought about how many successful relationships they’d all had (so far, none) and decided against it.

It was only when he woke up one morning to find the Brit fast asleep on his sofa, a bag hugged to his chest and his head rested against a pillow that Thomas began to get a little more baffled. Firstly, how the fuck did he get into the apartment? Secondly, when did he even get here? Did he just make his way over in the middle of the night and decide to pass out wherever he pleased? Not that Thomas really had a problem with Newt being there, it was just a rather extreme surprise, particularly first thing at five in the morning.

Thomas walked towards the sofa and stood over the blond for a moment or two, contemplating whether or not it’d be a good idea to wake him up. He seemed fairly drained; unsurprisingly still wearing the same clothes he’d seen him in the day before. He appeared to be rather peaceful in his state of unconsciousness, completely soundless aside from his light steady breaths coming from his slightly parted lips, nuzzling his head into the soft face of the pillow which Thomas personally found to be rather adorable.

Thomas gave a weary sigh and pulled his phone from his pocket.

(Thomas): Hey, Alby. You up?  
(Alby): Well, now I am, you shank.  
(Thomas): Why’s Newt in my apartment?  
(Alby): Newt’s in your apartment?  
(Alby): Shit.  
(Alby): He must have left when Ed and I were asleep.  
(Thomas): He’s just sleeping in my living room.  
(Alby): Do you want me to come pick him up?  
(Thomas): Nah, I’ll drop him back off myself after he wakes up.  
(Alby): Ah, good that.  
(Alby): I didn’t know Newt had a key to your apartment. I’m a little shocked to be honest.  
(Thomas): Yeah, so am I.  
(Alby): You mean you didn’t give it to him?  
(Thomas): Why would I give Newt a key?  
(Alby): Well, I just thought  
(Alby): You know  
(Alby): Well it doesn’t matter.  
(Thomas): Hey, slim it.

Thomas was distracted from his texting when he heard the blond give a faint whimper, hugging the bag closer to his chest as he slept. Thomas wondered whether Newt might be having a bad dream, as the Brit’s breathing pace faltered.

“Tommy…” Newt murmured, and Thomas felt his body tense. “…Tommy…”

“Newt?” He whispered tentatively. The blond was still out cold, and seemed to be talking in his sleep.

“Tommy…” Newt began to shiver, and Thomas couldn’t help but feel apprehensive. He remembered. Before any of this happened, when the two of them were still living together, Newt always used to be the one to catch nightmares. He’d wake up in the middle of the night in tears, and all Thomas could ever two was comfort him the best he could. Apparently, even after four years, those dreams still refused to disappear.

He moved a little closer towards Newt, and with a moment of hesitation, he placed his hand upon his head, his fingers soothingly running through the blonde’s soft hair. It’d been something he always used to do to calm him down, just to let Newt know that he was there for him.

He eventually stopped shivering, and his breathing began to calm, much to Thomas’ relief. There was something about seeing Newt so vulnerable that made the brunette feel disappointed.

It was then that he seemed to notice Newt’s bag, and why it seemed so familiar. Newt was hugging his art portfolio from when they were in school. He hadn’t seen it in a while, probably because he thought Newt no longer had any use for it. He used to keep a lot of his artwork in it, but he highly doubted he still did much drawing or painting these days.

Newt shifted upon the sofa as he began to draw himself to consciousness, and with a sigh, Thomas made his way into the kitchen

As soon as Newt had woken himself to the extent that he could stand, he cursed beneath his breath and began rummaging through his bag, before sealing it closed once more and standing to his feet.

“Not that I mind you being in the apartment, but a call before hand would be nice.” Thomas said from the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe.

“Buggin’ hell, I’m so sorry. I just came in to get a few of my old art pieces. See, I’m applying for a job, and, well, they need all of my past work.”

“When did you ever get a key anyways?” Thomas asked, purely out of curiosity.

“Ah, well,” Newt laughed a little awkwardly, a slight flush running to his cheeks. “I sort of made a copy for myself a couple weeks ago, not in like a weird way, I just kinda’, ugh, I don’t know, I made one so I could get in if I ever needed to. I swear to God, I’m not a stalker, so--”

Thomas simply chuckled at the guy and gave him a soft smile. “It’s alright, Newt. I was gonna’ give you back your key anyways.”

“Oh…” Newt scratched the back of his neck and turned his eyes towards the ground in an attempt to hide his eminent embarrassment, and Thomas could only laugh, finding himself drawn closer to the man bit by bit.

…

“You want me to what?”

“Come on, man.” Thomas uttered. “Just do this one thing for me, and I swear to god, I’ll leave you alone for like, the rest of eternity.”

“Dude, if you’re so curious, why don’t you go ask him yourself?” Minho grumbled taking slow gulps from his cup. “Besides…didn’t know you still had feelings for the shank. I mean not to be a shucking twat or anything, but after what happened I sure wouldn’t go down that path again if I were in your shoes. I mean, I love the shuck-face to klunk man, but I don’t know.”

“It’s not just about what he did, it’s why he did it…” Thomas drew his mind back to the night he’d driven Newt home after drinking, and felt a little tinge in his heart. “I just…I have to know if he still loves me…”

…

Newt sat by his kitchen counter, pencil in hand as he stared down at the page of his sketchbook, drawing a pot of flowers that just so happened to be sitting on the table beside him. His drawing skills were a little rusty, but nevertheless, he found it turning out rather nicely.

It was only when Eddy jumped upon his lap with a large cheeky grin upon his face that Newt pulled his attention away from his work and turned to look down at his son with a loving smile. “Well, good afternoon to you too.” Eddy laughed and sat straight upon Newt’s lap, his back to his father’s chest. “How was your shopping day with Teresa?”

“It was okay-ish. She bought me a book and a suit.” Eddy pulled Newt’s pencil from his right hand and began to fiddle with it.

“Why the bloody hell did she buy you a suit?” Newt grumbled, having not owning a suit himself.

“She said ‘Every young gentleman needs to have a set of formal attire’, or some klunk like that, I don’t know. Girls are bloody confusing.” Newt laughed gladly, finding his son to be a lot like himself in more ways than one. “What’s that?” Eddy asked, pointing at his daddy’s sketchbook that rested in front of him. Newt willingly let Eddy take the book from his grasp.

“It’s one of my drawing books. See, usually what I do is I draw on a canvas and sell it. That’s my job. But sometimes daddy just likes to draw for fun. That’s when I use my book.” Eddy began to flip through the book with a curious look in his eye.

For a while, the book’s subject theme mainly consisted of still life sketches, a few self-portraits and abstract drawings. Eddy seemed to notice when the theme somewhat changed to several drawings of the Gladers, but most importantly, the increasing amount of portraits of Thomas. Each and every picture was different, and yet, they all reflected Newt’s devotion and care towards him. The fact that Newt had never drawn Thomas without a smile must have meant something.

“You really like Mister Thomas, don’t you daddy?” Eddy said.

“Uh, yeah, guess you could say I like ‘im.” He cleared his throat and took a sip of his tea, trying to ease his own tension. Even after he left, Newt could never stop drawing the brunette. He drew him because he needed to be able to feel close to Thomas without actually having him at all.

“Do you love him?”

Newt choked, spluttering for a moment before covering his mouth and trying to recover before he ended up dying of oxygen deficiency. “You what now?”

“Do you love him?” Eddy repeated, closing Newt’s sketchbook and placing it on the counter before turning to face his father with a patient expression.

“You do understand that Uncle Thomas and I are both guys, right?” Newt stated.

“…I don’t get your point, Isaac.” Eddy said with a pout, and Newt practically jumped from his skin at the sound of his son using his first name. “It’s a simple question, daddy.”

“First off, don’t call me Isaac, Ed, I’m your father for shuck’s sake. Second off, why are you asking me that?”

“Whenever you’re with Mister Thomas, you get happier than you were before, and I want you to be happy, and if Mister Thomas makes you happy, then that makes me happy.” Eddy rested his head against his dad’s shoulder with a sigh.

“…Love’s a strong word, kiddo.” Newt said, placing a kiss upon his son’s forehead. “Mister Thomas and I, we have a history. It’s a long but beautiful one that I’ll cherish forever. Maybe if I was smart I’d still be in that beautiful history…then again, if that were to come true, I know for a fact you wouldn’t be here today, so, I’m glad to have left that history behind.” 

Eddy smiled, not entirely understanding what his father was trying to say, but nevertheless, the message came through clear enough.

…

“You know, Mister Thomas,” Eddy sat beside the brunette upon the sidewalk, watching as the cars drove on by. Newt had disappeared off to a job interview, leaving Eddy to be taken care of by his other favorite adult. “I think daddy loves you.”

“Hah, why’d you say that?” Thomas questioned, watching as the little boy fiddled with a tiny toy car Ben had given him the other day.

“Because that’s what I think.” He replied rather bluntly, and Thomas simply shifted a little, giving a breath of slight unease. “I know you love daddy though.”

“What’s it to you if I did?” Thomas chuckled, cynicism evident in his tone of voice. “Come on, Ed, don’t you think you’re a lil’ too lil’ to be medaling in people’s personal lives.”

“But I’m part of daddy’s life, so that makes it my life as well.” Eddy said stubbornly, absently running the wheels of his car over the edge of the sidewalk. “He doesn’t say it properly, but I still think he loves you, and it only makes sense for you two to be together all the time. Isn’t that what everybody wants?”

Thomas couldn’t pretend like he didn’t take the kid’s words to heart, and he simply gave a blessing smile with a nod of the head. “Once again outsmarted by a kid less than four feet tall.”


	9. Chapter 9

Several years ago…

“Oh, that’s Newt.” Alby had whispered, so as not to be heard over the relentless drone of the lecturer’s monotone voice. “He’s an art student. We’ve been mates since forever.” Thomas leant his chair onto its back two legs with a severely consumed sigh. He couldn’t help but stare at the young blond with a look of affection.

Newt sat two rows in front of Alby and Thomas, distantly scribbling on the back of his notebook. It wasn’t that he was a particularly bad student; he just didn’t really give a shit about anything other than his art qualifications. He’d already been accepted for early admit next year, and after that, he’d be done with this shitty little school.

It was then that Frypan flicked him on the side of the head, causing him to snap out of his daze for a mere second. “Bloody hell.”

“Dude,” Frypan handed Newt a small folded slide of paper and the Brit simply looked at him with a questioning glower. “It’s from the Greenie.” He’d explained his eyes shooting back in Thomas’ direction. Newt didn’t risk looking over his shoulder, not wanting to snag himself in an awkward situation of unwanted eye contact. With a feel of ambiguity, he unfolded the note.

‘Hi. You’re cute. I’m single. Are you?  
-Thomas E. x’

Newt practically fell from his chair, uncouthly catching himself on the edge of his desk, luckily not drawing too much attention from the rest of the class. Jesus Christ, how forward can you be??

He’d only seen Thomas around school a couple of times, mainly because his best friend Alby was class president, and it was kind of his job to help the Greenies settle in. Thomas didn’t seem like a particularly bad guy, in fact, he’d come across as a rather charming character…but still. Maybe it was due to the fact that Newt had never exactly been asked out before (because he’s ‘a total buzz-kill’ apparently).

Well, whatever this new guy was playing at, he’d obviously not heard the rumors yet. You see, a few years ago, Newt gained himself a limp after falling from a standing wall not far from where he lived. The truth was, he suffered from severe depression, and had done so for most his life. At the time, it just felt like a good idea.

People started saying he’d tried to kill himself, which wasn’t half wrong, though Newt personally didn’t think of it as dying and more of going to sleep forever (which was basically just sugarcoating the situation for himself). The rest of The Gladers had told him to just try and ignore the rumors, though, that was more easily said than done. His life was chaotic enough as it was, he didn’t need a relationship to add to it.

“You’re a real shank, you know that?” Alby shook his head at Thomas, who simply shrugged his shoulders with a defiant grin.

Frypan passed the note back down to Alby, who handed it to Thomas.

‘There’s a reason I’m single, Greenie. Do yourself a favor and go find yourself someone who’s worth your time :)  
-I. Newt’

Thomas cocked his brow, glancing over at the blond, who’d resumed his doodling on his textbook. With a chaste smile, the brunette scribbled something onto the note before throwing it over the two rows of seats in front of him, having it land in the dead center of the blonde’s desk.

Newt rolled his eyes and Frypan couldn’t help but give a spontaneous chuckle, admiring the Greenie’s consistency. He cursed beneath his breath and unfolded the note once more.

‘Hmm, you know, you’re not looking so good. I’d say you’re suffering from a severe lack of vitamin ME. I recommend getting some ME in your life ASAP to reverse the symptoms.’

Newt snorted, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head, unable to wipe his smile of amusement off his face. At the very bottom of the note were the words,

‘So…you wanna’ go for coffee?’

…

Now…

“Ugh, bloody hell.” Newt dropped the seventh canvas beside the wall with a huff, running his hands through his hair with a sigh. He turned and took a short look around the vast empty studio, envisioning what it might look like in a month or two. The entire room was red brick, with glass windows on each wall. Within its center sat a single table, a chair, and several lines of canvas that would soon be made into pieces of art.

“Well, it’s a good start.” The agent had stated, examining each of Newt’s finished works with a sharp eye. “Obviously, you’ll have to get started with your next pieces as soon as possible, but I doubt that should be too hard for you to do.” The agent dug into his bag and handed The Brit a set of papers and a pen. “You can just drop the paperwork off at the office after you finish filling out all the details.”

“It was twenty percent, right?” Newt said as he placed the documents upon the table.

“Twenty-five percent.” The agent corrected with a laugh. “Don’t you go cheating me, young man.”

Newt rolled his eyes with a smirk. “My mistake.”

The agent made his way towards the door. “I’ll call you on Monday to check how everything’s going.”

“Aye, thank you, sir.” Newt said with a grateful nod as he watched the agent leave the building.

It was then he heard the faint sound of tapping against the surface of his window on the far side of the building. It was then that Newt noticed a familiar brunette edged by the windowsill with his hands pressed to the glass. Newt jumped in surprise but laughed it off as Thomas began to fog up the glass with his breath.

He took his time in walking over towards the window, unlatching the panel and sliding the glass open. “Thought he’d never leave, Jesus Christ.”

“What the hell are you doing?” Newt giggled as Thomas began to climb through the window, brushing the dirt off his clothes as he took a look around the studio.

“Well, being a no-life part-time middle-class American in the smallest city in the mother-shucking world where literally nothing remotely exciting happens, I decided to stop by an’ see how you were getting along. How’s the new job treatin’ you, Mister ‘Professional Gallery exhibition distributor’.”

“Ah, slim it, ya’ buggin’ shank.” Newt laughed, rolling his sleeves to his elbows walking over to his desk, placing the paperwork into his bottom drawer.

“So how’s it work anyways? You just sell them paintings and you get money?”

“They gave me a studio, and in return I give them twenty-five percent of everything I sell. They also take some of my works and put them up for auction and klunk like that.”

Thomas paced over and leant against the table’s edge with a brash grin. “Sounds like some intense shit.” Newt gave him a light shove and the two simply laughed. “Seriously though, you should be proud of yourself. I know I’m proud of you.”

Newt flushed, shaking his head. “You’re so buggin’ cheesy, Tommy.” The brunette simply chuckled.

“Just trying to hold you up, Newt.” The blond resisted the temptation to look up from his desk, staring down at his fingers that’d begun to tap upon the wooden surface.

“I don’t get you, Thomas.” He stated flatly. “You’re…just…you’re always there for me. Even after everything that’s happened, everything we’ve been through, you’re still here. Either you’re just tryin’ to be nice, or you’re literally insane.”

Thomas edged a little closer towards him, crossing his arms with a sigh. “Believe me, Newt. If I could, I’d go my separate way. To be honest with you, I’ve thought about it on several occasions…about how easy it'd be for the both of us to just quit it...but I can’t leave you because…well…if I did that, I’d be killing myself.” Thomas stood inches away from the blond, and placed his hand over Newt’s, causing the Brit to stop tapping as he intertwined their fingers. “And I know it’s been a while since you’ve heard it come outa’ my mouth…but I love you, Newt. Always have, always will.”

Newt felt a warm tinge in his chest, as though his heart had been frozen all these years, waiting for those exact three words to allow him to breathe easy, like he had done those many years ago.

The blond pulled Thomas down an inch by his shirt collar, closing his eyes and giving him a tender kiss, the familiar feel of his Tommy’s warm skin against his own sending shivers down his spine. Thomas couldn’t help but smile behind the Brit’s lips, having finally reached where he’d wanted to be.

As soon as the two separated, Newt rested his head against Thomas’ shoulder, giving a grave sigh as he did so. The brunette simply chuckled and said, “So…you wanna’ go for coffee?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be too happy. There is a down hill.  
> And sorry about the inconsistent updates. I'm working on it. :)


	10. Chapter 10

Some months later…

Bit by bit, Thomas and Newt slowly grew closer together, and soon enough, they were living under the same roof as they once had many years ago. Newt had cleared out his old study to create space for Eddy’s bedroom. Eddy personally enjoyed living with Mister Thomas, and his life just seemed to get a lot more entertaining, having the two people he most cared about loving each other, as they should.

Friday morning and Thomas woke to the pleasant feel of a young blond curled beside him in bed, a gentle hand running from his neck to his chest. Newt looked up with bright eyes, as he gave a soft smile. “Morning.”

“Morning.” Thomas replied, placing a kiss upon Newt’s forehead. “You sleep alright?”

“Suppose so.” The Brit took the brunette’s hand, his head still rested against Thomas’ shoulder. Thomas had noticed that Newt’s sleeping pattern seemed to increase as the days went on. At first, Newt could barely sleep thirty minutes without waking with the shivers. Now that he seemed to be getting used to being around Thomas again, he was able to sleep up to six hours without so much as a stir. The nightmares hadn’t quite subsided yet, but nevertheless, he felt safe enough being in the brunette’s arms, ready to wake and be greeted by those beautiful brown eyes of his.

“You going in to work today?” Thomas asked.

“Yeah. Still got a load of paintings to finish before the gallery.” Newt sighed laboriously. “God, so much bloody work.”

“Hey, don’t stress yourself.” Thomas huffed, wrapping his arms around the blond and pulling him towards his chest, causing Newt to burst into giggles, breathing in the brunette’s sweet and comforting scent. “’Cause, I’d offer to help, but…I’m pretty shit at that kinda’ stuff.”

Newt laughed and began playing with the edge of Thomas’ shirt. “Bloody hell…sometimes I just wish I could stay here forever…”

“Yeah…me too…” Thomas pulled Newt’s chin up and caught his lips in a delicate kiss, their noses touching as they pulled apart, and the two had never seemed so content.

“…I love you, Tommy.” The two smiled, before Newt glanced over Thomas’ shoulder to see the alarm clock placed by the bedside. “Oh, shit.” He uttered. “Fuck, I’m gonna’ be late.” The Brit jumped out of bed, grabbing his shirt and jeans from the back of his chair. Thomas laughed and shook his head as Newt stumbled awkwardly to pull his jeans over his legs, grabbing his phone and cold coffee from the night before. “I’ll call you later. You’re gonna’ have to drop Eddy off at school because I ain’t got the time.”

“Hey, Newt.” Thomas called, as the blond stood by the doorway, his bag slung over his shoulder. “I love you too.”

Newt smiled, a faint blush on his cheeks as he turned his eyes to the floor and made his way out the door. Thomas fell back against the backboard of his bed with a huge grin upon his face. Life was good.

…

“So, you want to tell me what happened?” The Principal sat opposite Eddy, staring down at the little boy with an intimidating persona. Eddy didn’t reply, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference even if he did. “Bullying in this school is unacceptable, Edison. Honestly, I expected more from you.” Her voice was stern and despite the boy being fairly strong willed, she managed to draw a blink from him.

Eddy looked as though he were about to say something, though seemed unable to explain in coherent words, so decided to merely hit the back of his neck against his chair with a grumble.

It was then that The Principal heard a knock upon her office door, and a young brunette stood by the entrance, phone in his hand as he leant against the glass window. “Can I help you?” she called, as he let himself in impulsively. Eddy looked up from his daze and seemed to soften at the very sight of him.

“Uh, yeah. I got a call from the school? His dad’s a little busy so he asked me to pick him up, if that’s alright.” Thomas explained.

“Oh, well, could I take your name, sir?”

“Uh, it’s Thomas Edison.” He replied. She seemed a little surprised by the fact that Thomas and Eddy shared the same name; though let it slide as she searched him up on the school system. “He lives with me and his father.”

“Ah, yes, you’re put down as alt-guardian.” The Principal said with a nod of the head, turning her attention back to the four-year-old sat opposite her desk. “Well, as I mentioned on the phone, Edison has been called into my office for physically assaulting three students in his class. He also refuses to eat lunch with the rest of his peers and is constantly brought into my office for use of bad language in classes. If something doesn’t happen now, I’m afraid there will be serious consequences.”

Thomas didn’t seem too bothered about the situation, mainly because he knew this kid would never do anything like that unless he had good reason, and he was whole-heartedly prepared to accept any sort of excuse this shit-ass school wanted to provide.

Eddy was never the kind of kid to cry in public. So when Thomas found him jumping from the chair and hugging himself around his leg, practically bursting into tears and refusing to loosen his grip, he knew something was up. 

“I’m sorry, Mister Thomas, I’m sorry!” The boy howled; his voice muffled by the fabric of the brunette’s jeans. Thomas placed a comforting hand upon Eddy’s head, tussling his hair affectionately.

“Hey, slim it, kiddo, it’s okay.” Thomas reassured, trying to calm the child’s sobs, scooping Eddy off the ground and holding him in his arms, letting the boy hide his face in his shoulder.

“They made me do it! They were making fun of me because I don’t have a mommy and because my daddy likes boys. They’re always bloody laughing at me and calling names at me. They like making fun of daddy, saying bad stuff just because he’s different. It ain’t buggin’ right!”

“Alright, alright, hush up, kiddo.” Thomas crooned and Eddy continued to cry into his shirt. “Hey, listen, is it okay if I just take the guy home? Not much point in him staying here for the rest of the day anyway.” Thomas stated.

The Principal gave a mordant sigh. “I mean there’s not much else I can really do. We’ve given Eddy multiple warnings over the past few months—”

“Yeah, but he was only doing that because a bunch of homophobic bastards were verbally abusing the kid.” He protested. “If anyone’s at fault it should be those shanks, right?”

“Thus far, the accused have denied saying anything, and since Eddy was the only one who ever recalled these incidence, I’m afraid there’s no evidence to support him.” The Principal explained, and Thomas’ felt his heart begin to sink. “I’m giving Eddy a three month suspension from school. If this continues, I’m afraid harsher steps will have to be taken.”

…

“I mean, if you’re gonna’ beat someone up at least have the decency to do it outside of school.” Thomas joked, causing Eddy to crack the hint of a smile as he pushed his plate of food away from him. “Kidding. Don’t do klunk like that. Good people don’t hurt other people Eddy. That’s not how it works.”

“’M sorry, Mister Thomas.” Eddy said again for about the seventh time that day.

“Sometimes you gotta’ be the bigger man is all I’m saying. Don’t let those shanks get to you, okay? No matter what they say. If it’s about you, you can ignore it. If it’s about your dad, it doesn’t concern you.” Eddy nodded, taking Thomas’ advice to heart.

It was then that Thomas’ heard the distinguishable sound of a hazy knock upon the door. With a halfhearted sigh, he stood from the table and made his way over whilst Eddy began to clear his plate, humming Fall Out Boy’s ‘The Phoenix’ as he worked.

Thomas swept through the corridor with a skip in his step and swiftly opened the front door; only to be greeted by the strange presence of a young woman dressed in a black pencil skirt and blouse, a blazer thrown over her shoulders. She held her phone in her left hand; glancing over Thomas’ shoulder for a moment, before turning her attention back to him.

“Is this the Newton residence?” She asked firmly, breathing a nervy sigh as she did so.

“Uh…sorry, can I help you?” Thomas stated, leaning against the doorframe, his bones growing ridged.

“…My name’s Jacqueline. I’m here for my son.” She said, and Thomas began to tense as she stared him dead in the eye. “Where’s Isaac? Where’s Edison?”

“I think you have the wrong address.” Thomas lied through his teeth.

The woman’s lip stiffened, a cold look of anguish upon her face. “I have a right to see my own son. Where is he?”

“Look lady, I’m gonna’ say it one more time.” Thomas took a daunting step towards Jacqueline with a look of pure abhorrence. “You’ve got the wrong address.”

“Mister Thomas.” A gentle timid voice had called just over the brunette’s shoulder, and Jacqueline appeared to flinch, her hand moving to her mouth. The young boy of four years stared up at the two adults by the doorway, biting on his thumb and hiding behind the leg of a sideboard. “Who’s that lady?”

“Edison!” The young woman called, her eyes welling with tears. “Eddy, it’s me, Jackie! You’re mother! Remember me? Oh, you look just like your daddy you do.” Jacqueline made a hand gesture, beckoning the boy over. “Come here, Eddy! Let mommy have a closer look at you!”

Thomas pushed the woman two steps back. “Ed, go to your room.” Eddy gave a coy look in Jacqueline’s direction. “Ed. Go. Now.” Thomas repeated in a harsh tone that Eddy had never heard him use before. He scurried down the hall towards his room, closing the door hastily behind him. “You need to leave.”

“But I--”

“Jackie?”

The two turned to see a familiar young blond standing behind them, a look of pure astonishment on his face. “Newt!” She exclaimed, a beaming smile upon her lips as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a warm hug. Newt simply laughed into her shoulder and returned her embrace.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He uttered, looking her up and down with a friendly grin.

“Well, you said I could pop by if I ever wanted to, well, you know.” Jacqueline shrugged with a slight smirk.

“Yeah, but…I mean, it’s been years.” Newt informed, nevertheless he appeared happy to see her, which only seemed to make Thomas feel as though he were going to be sick. “Hey, why don’t you come inside and we can have a little talk.”

…

“You gave that bitch our address?” Thomas exclaimed, as Newt began to boil the kettle, staring down at the set of teacups and deciding upon whether sugar was a good idea. “Newt! Look at me, for fuck’s sake!” The blond turned his eyes up questioningly. “How could you do something like this?”

“I don’t understand what your buggin’ problem is.” Newt stated, keeping his voice low so the woman in the other room wouldn’t grow suspicious. “She has the right to know where her child is, doesn’t she?”

“Pretty sure she lost that right after she walked out on the both of you.” Thomas hissed. “I’m not having her in Eddy’s life, Newt. She’s nothing but trouble for the kid.”

“And since when do you get to decide what happens in my son’s life?” Newt turned fairly pale as he began to grow weary of the situation. “He’s not your kid, Thomas, he’s mine, and Eddy has the right to see his own mother. Say whatever the fuck you want, it ain’t gonna’ make a difference.”

“What, so now my opinion doesn’t count for anything?” Thomas couldn’t help the pained expression as the words fell from his mouth. “Am I not Eddy’s family anymore? Am I not yours?” Newt wanted to say something, but couldn’t find anything to say. Thomas shook his head his back. “I’m going out. No way I’m staying here with that woman in my house.”

“Tommy--”

“Don’t call me that.” Newt felt his heart begin to ache as Thomas turned out the door, his entire persona appearing ice cold.

…

It was a stupid thing to get pissed off about. Thomas knew that. It was the outcome that seemed to bother him most. He’d always considered himself to be part of Newt’s family. He’d always thought that the two of them were closer together. Maybe he was just overreacting. Either way, this would pass. It was one fucked up argument. No big deal. He’d probably be over it by tomorrow anyways.

As he sat upon the edge of the pavement, kicking aimlessly at the side of the road, he began to think. What if Newt didn’t want him to be part of Eddy’s life? What if he didn’t want Eddy to be affected by him? It was bad enough that Eddy had to grow up without a mother, but to have his father going out with another man, no doubt he’d be bullied for it.

It was then Thomas felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He curiously looked at the number, before breathing a headed sigh and turning the device off. He didn’t have the patience to talk to Newt right now. He loved that man with all his heart, but sometimes he just needed to take a step back.

…

Newt had been looking for him for a while now. He’d been gone for about three hours. After he eventually sent Jacqueline away, he’d felt so bad about what happened. It wasn’t as if Newt didn’t want Thomas to be part of Eddy’s life, it’s just that he wanted Ed to know who his mother was. It wasn’t fair on Jackie and it wasn’t fair on Edison.

Newt dialed Thomas’ number again, as he began to cross to the other side of the road. Thomas must have had his phone off, since all he was getting was voicemail.

“Hey, Thomas. It’s me. I…uh, I’m sorry okay? Can we just talk about this? I know, I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but, I can’t live with myself knowing I’ve hurt you. Let’s just talk it out, okay? I miss you; so, just…please come home, Tommy, please. I love you.” Newt ended the message and felt himself begin to crack.

He’d been about halfway across the road, and didn’t even notice as a car running miles over the limit sped towards him, barely woken as his entire body was shot down.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahhahaahahaha...okay I'm sorry.

Thomas felt his blood run cold. It was almost as though time itself had slowed to a point in which reality became distorted with his worst nightmare. “Sir?” The young nurse’s voice rang down the phone as Thomas stood frozen by the entrance of his own apartment, his back pressed against the face of the door as the mobile slipped from his fingers.

He’d done it.

This was his fault.

Newt was dying…because of him.

Thomas felt himself begin to slide down the door until he was sitting upon the ground, his knees at his chest, barely able to breathe. What had he done? God, what had he done? It couldn’t be true. He’d promised himself he’d never let him go, not again. It couldn’t be true.

“Mister Thomas?” Eddy called from down the hall, innocently trekking towards his guardian. “Mister Thomas, why are you crying?”

Thomas couldn’t find the strength in himself to say, so merely hid his head in his knees, letting himself be taken by the sweltering pain that’d been forgotten in his heart until that very moment.

…

“Any news?” Frypan called, standing from his seat in the waiting room as Alby made his way over.

“They’re doing all they can. He lost a lot of blood after…the hit.” Alby cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice as calm and under control as possible. “He was out cold when he got here…I don’t know how long it’s been.”

“Is he going to…” Teresa swallowed the lump in her throat, unable to finish her own sentence.

“…I don’t know.” Alby huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “…We’ll just have to wait…see what happens.”

“God I can’t believe this is actually happening.” Ben murmured into his hands, hunching over his seat. “Out of all the people, why him?”

“Well there ain’t nothing we can do, so why don’t you guys just shut the shuck up about it.” Minho hissed bitterly, turning towards the window and running his hand down the back of his neck.

“You really think this is the time to be getting all stony, Minho?” Jeff sighed, standing from his seat. “Newt’s dying and all you gotta’ say is ‘shut up’?”

“Hey, you think I don’t care about the shank as much as you do?” Minho snapped, refusing to look at any of his friends, and residing with staring at the busy road outside. “This waiting, it’s killing me! You lot going on about him dying in there ain’t helping much either! He ain’t dead yet, can’t you lot understand that? I’m not taking anymore of this bullshit until we find out what’s going on.”

It was only after a few moments of silence that the lifeless room was broken by the sound of Thomas entering through the hallway; Eddy clinging to his jacket sleeve for dear life. The boy looked as confused as ever, having never visited a hospital before. Thomas looked fairly pale as he entered, as though he were about to faint. He seemed almost surprised that everyone else was already here.

“…We haven’t heard anything, Thomas. I’m sorry.” Alby said lowly. He noticed Eddy had begun glancing about the room, humming his usual mix of Beatles and Fall Out Boy. “…You haven’t…told him?”

Thomas shook his head. “Wouldn’t know how to even if I tried. Just sort of…dragged him here.” The brunette gave a sniff, carding his fingers through his hair. “I can’t take it, Alby. I need to see him.”

“…You will. I promise.” Alby reassured, though whether Newt would be alive when he did he couldn’t say for certain.

…

Minutes turned into hours faster than Thomas had anticipated. It’d grown to a rather late hour, and Eddy had managed to fall asleep across the row of chairs, his head rested upon Teresa’s lap.

Every second that passed him by felt deeper than the last, like every waking moment was simply waiting to devour him whole. That was the worst part. The waiting. Not knowing was worse than death itself. 

It was then that Minho joined the brunette by his seat, lolling his head back against the wall with a tired grumble. “So, you gonna’ tell me what happened?”

Thomas looked down upon his feet. “I…” He’d not noticed how sore his throat had been, like he’d swallowed something bitter. “I was mad…we got into a fight…and…it was shucking stupid.”

“Sounds shucking stupid.” He muttered, taking a sip from his bottle of water and handing it over to Thomas. “But what’s done is done, right? I mean…sure, it hurts like shucking hell, and yeah, kinda’ wish things didn’t have to be like…this…but at the end of the day, what really counts is that no matter what happens, we’re all still here. No matter what, we’re gonna’ keep moving. The world’s not gonna’ stop, Thomas. And you, you gotta’ stay strong…for Newt…and for him.” Minho made a slight gesture in Eddy’s direction, and Thomas lowered his gaze even further.

“…Thanks, Minho.”

When the doctor walked in, regardless of the lifeless night outside, Thomas, Minho, Jeff, Ben, Winston and Frypan were up to their feet in seconds. Teresa stayed beside Eddy, making sure he didn’t wake to the commotion.

The doctor looked upon the group, and since they were the only people left in the hospital at this hour, he’d assumed they were all there for the same reason. “You’re all here for Mr. Newton, correct?”

Alby gave a simple nod.

“Well, would it be alright if I talked with just the family members for now?”

The group turned to Eddy, still fast asleep. “Um…” Alby gave a subtle sigh, “Well, Edison Newton is his only family currently available, and he’s…well…”

“…Ah, I see.” The doctor said understandingly.

“Thomas.” Minho called softly, causing the brunette to flinch. “Thomas is closest to family as this guy’s ever gonna’ get.”

The doctor gave him a questioning look. “…He’s my partner.” He explained.

“Oh, well that’s fine. If you’d just like to step outside with me for just a moment.” The doctor stated. He held the door open for him, and Thomas made his way out.

As soon as the door was shut behind him, the Doctor began using up what could have been the longest few minutes of Thomas’ entire life.

“Well, Thomas, the good news is he’s managed to pull through the surgical procedures.” Thomas felt himself grow a little more able to breathe, as though half the weight on his chest had been lifted just to know that Newt was still alive. “Though, his physical condition is far from manageable. During the accident, he managed to break five ribs, his left arm, leg and wrist. He’s also gained several deep cuts and bruises along his arms, face and legs. He’s suffered a heavy amount of internal bleeding, and some serious trauma to the back of his head.”

Thomas turned his back to the wall, feeling as though he were about to collapse.

“…That’s not all.” The doctor continued. And thus, a pure moment of agonizing dread. “The injury on his head caused some damage to his brain, sending him into a coma. We’re unable to predict when he’ll be most likely to wake from it, if he does at all…I’m sorry, Sir. At this moment in time, there’s nothing more we can do.”

By then, Thomas knew he’d lost him. The one thing he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do. All these horrid sensations felt all too familiar, and he felt himself unable to do anything. He couldn’t blink or breathe or speak. The most he managed was a mere nod, turning from the doctor and pacing back into the waiting room, not meeting the eyes of his friends for even a moment, as he stood by the windowsill, leaning the palms of his hands against the ledge, and finally allowing his tears to fall.

…

Newt had never been one to have much color to his skin, but Thomas had never thought to ever see him like this. The brunette simply sat beside the blonde’s bed, affectionately running his fingers through his true love’s soft locks of hair, as he’d grown to do as a sort of habit.

“…Please…please…don’t leave me…I can’t do this on my own.” Thomas whispered, taking Newt’s ice-cold hand in his own. “I don’t know what to do…I can’t go through this, not without you…you promised me you wouldn’t leave me again…and now I can’t let you go.” The room fell quiet as Thomas leant over Newt’s practically lifeless body and placed a kiss upon his forehead. “I love you…please…hold on...please...”

…

“Alright, kid.” Thomas sat the boy upon his lap, breathing a heavy sigh and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “There’s something I gotta’ tell you.”

“Is it about daddy?” Eddy asked, not looking Thomas in the eye. “I’m small, but I ain’t bloody stupid. Is that why we’re here? Is it daddy?”

Thomas huffed. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t cry in front of this kid, not again. “…Look, Ed. When people get sick, they tend to sleep a lot, right?” Eddy nodded, trying to see where this was going. Thomas knew Eddy was probably smart enough to work it out himself; it’d just be a whole lot less painful for him this way. “Well, your daddy got into an accident, and now he’s really sick, which is why he’s asleep right now.”

“…Asleep…” Eddy murmured.

“…Yeah…see, the thing is…the doctors aren’t sure when he’s gonna’ wake up…so, your daddy’s probably not going to be around for a while.”

Eddy sat frozen, staring down at his hands. “…Is he going to die?” Thomas blinked his eyes, as though he’d not heard the boy. Eddy gave a sniff, not allowing his guardian to see his face, too embarrassed to show himself with tears in his eyes.

“He’s not going to die.” Thomas stated firmly, hugging the boy to his chest. “…I promise you that.”

Eddy buried his head into Thomas’ shirt, wishing to be anywhere else but here, and Thomas simply rubbed the small of the young boy’s back, trying to comfort him through the pain…a pain he understood better than anyone else.


End file.
